Epic #4 July 21, 2021

[Legal Department]

One Wrestle Movement
In Association With
Iconic Sports Media

Present

Live from the Ross Kelley Rodeo Arena in Pasadena, Texas

The fourth episode of Epic looks visibly lower budget than the first three episodes. In fact, the orange-brown dirt floor hadn’t been flattened with a tractor beforehand. Instead, footprints from the last show persisted, each a visual scar of what happened two weeks ago. The lighting rig above the six-sided ring seemed to have fewer fixtures than the week before, too. As a consequence, the excited crowd is blanketed in black. A keen eye could see that the stage, the ramp, and the ring itself are slightly darker from lack of lamps, too. The grittier feel is complete with cheaper cameras, grainy and 720p in quality. The camera swirls around to show it all in a sequence that lasts no longer than five seconds. Then, it arrives at the announcer’s booth embedded in the stage set.

Vance Issac Parker: Ladies and gentlemen, on the last episode, I announced the “swear for charity” campaign with my partner here that One Dub officials would match dollar for dollar. Last show I’m...well, I’d say mildly surprised, but given his mouth, I can’t really say I am, that we deducted ninety American dollars from Spazz, and with the company match, that made one-hundred-eighty dollars contributed in total to...Spazz, would you like to name a local charity to donate to or leave it up to PR to decide that?

Spazz: Humane Society, Dog.

Vance Issac Parker: With that out of the way, we’ve got a crazy show tonight! Justice Cross returns to EPIC for an absolutely killer Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match with “Ya Girl” Q, and in our main event, we’ve got what everyone has been clamoring for. New Glory Champion Don Tirri will go one-on-one with the despicable, sorry excuse for a human being, Driller Jaworski, in our main event! I won’t speak for my partner, but I’m pretty confident in saying we’re both highly looking forward to watching that knuckle-dragging ape get what’s coming to him, for his heinous, despicable actions! Spazz?

Spazz: Dude, We’re all here to see someone get they’s ass KICKED. Driller took shit waaaaay too far, injuring Erick St. John in his 5 Minute Drill match, and now? I think the only people we can safely say are on his side are the Kartel bums. Enough jaw jackin’ though, let’s get shit rolling, yo!

The view opens up to a closeup of the 1WM Glory championship, glittering in the spotlight. The camera pans back, and we see it around the waist of “Old School Cool” Don Tirri, the inaugural champion. Tirri is all geared up to wrestle, but contrary to so many previous times we’ve seen him, he has a wide smile on his face.

Don Tirri: So. At Glory 14, I hit a big highlight of my career when I tapped out William James Cordova to become the first-ever 1WM Glory champion. For the past 6 days, I’ve been trying to soak it in, trying to get myself to understand that yes, I did it. And it’s finally setting in. It’s finally dawning on me that yes, I indeed did it. And just in time. Because as much as I’d love to rest on my laurels and enjoy my accomplishment, there is no rest for the wicked.

Tirri stretches a bit and starts pacing around.

Don Tirri: Tonight in the main event there is a clash that has been weeks in the making. Ever since Epic 2, where we saw a travesty taking place. A travesty that ended a career. A travesty that disgusted me. And ever since Epic 2, my course has been set. Driller Jaworski, I have come to Epic 4 tonight to end you.

He stops and turns to face the camera, his features turned into a scowl.

Don Tirri: Driller. What you did to Erick St. John was a disgrace. And you raised the ire of half the roster. And rightfully so. And I know you realized that because you immediately ran to find cover behind the Kali Kartel. But tonight Driller, tonight the short-bus buddies can’t help you. Tonight the Kali Pinheads will understand that they stepped on a pile of shit when they aligned with you. Tonight I am going to make you pay for your crime.

The big finn spits on the ground, as if talking about Driller left a bad taste in his mouth.

Don Tirri: For weeks now, you have proclaimed how you will end my career. How you will end the career of everyone looking to bring you to justice. And you’ve succeeded in exactly none of it. See, here’s the thing, Drill. You are nothing more than a dime a dozen douchebag. Over my career, I’ve fought men bigger than you, meaner than you, stronger than you, and more dangerous than you. I’ve fought men who’ve literally broken their opponents in two and laughed at the carnage. You do not scare me, Driller. There is nothing you can do that can ever match up to the battles I’ve fought in my past. You are nothing more than just another hairless ape looking to make a name for himself.

Tirri lights up a cigarette and puffs it.

Don Tirri: Tonight is about sending a message, Drill. It’s about putting anyone who thinks they can do what you did and get away with it on notice. Not on my watch Drill. Just like the short-bus buddies learned on Epic 3, there is only so much fuckery you can get away with until it comes time to pay the piper. Until it comes time to face up and deal with consequences. And tonight your reign of fuckery comes to an end. This title belt on my waist means that I need to set an example. I need to be a guy the rest of the roster looks at and goes, “This dude is for real.”. I am the gold standard of Glory Drill, and you have the misfortune of having pissed me off.

Tirri takes deep drags from the cigarette, smoke billowing out of his mouth slowly.

Don Tirri: Tonight, Drill, I’ll make you regret every choice you’ve ever made. I’ll make you regret ever signing up to OneDub. I will make you regret the way you chose to make Wrestling your profession. Tonight Driller, I am going to teach you what just desserts mean.

Tirri flicks his cigarette at the camera, staring a hole through it.

Don Tirri: Because THAT… is what professionals do. See you in the ring, Driller.

Vance Isaac Parker: He’s freakin’ ready! Folks, let’s hear a quick word from our sponsor this evening, Psychonauts Two! It’s brain-bashing action for ages eight to eighty, and it’s coming out soon!

The Arena lights glow green as Sabaton’s cover of “Kingdom Come” plays loud and proud. Out steps the Ginger Ninja, Molly Hatchet in full Hatchet Clan gear, carrying a pole bearing the Black and Green Crossed Hatchets and skull banner. She marches down to ringside, the flag fluttering in the wake of her fast walk. Upon arrival, she hops on to the apron, stows the flag in the corner, and enters the ring. She whips her hood back and removes the green half-skull mask she wears when entering, tossing it out to the crowd to give a lucky fan a souvenir. She pulls a microphone from her pocket and gets right to work, addressing the crowd.

Spazz: We haven’t seen her in a hot minute!

Vance Isaac Parker: The last time we saw Molly was on the inaugural EPIC...in a losing effort to Justice Cross. Where has she been the last month and a half!?

Molly O’Hatherine: Aye! It’s been awhile now, hasn’t it? I kicked this show off as tha’ main event along with tha’ talented veteran, Don Tirri…. Tha’ now Glory Champion. Good on him fer comin’ out on top at tha’ end. Here we are, four shows, two Glories, and a Legendary later and where oh where has tha’ Ginger Ninja been?

A little nod is given in response to the mixed reaction of the crowd.

Molly O’Hatherine: Twas not by choice that I was given time off. I was more than a bit melancholy about it, mopin’ about, drownin’ me sorrows as I watched friends and foes alike move ahead while I sat back in limbo, waitin’ fer me moment.

She spins around to the opposite side of the crowd, facing the main camera without intending to.

Molly O’Hatherine: TIME WAITS FER NO ONE!!! Not you, not me, nothin’ yeah. A chance encounter with a fan on tha’ street durin’ all this ponderin’ made me realize how selfish I’d become. No, it twas not their call but me comin’ to a realization that I keep goin’ me me me, mine mine mine, now now now! Where’s mine? When do I get mine? I want it! Me first!

The Ginger Ninja casts her gaze to the ground, looking just a little bit ashamed.

Molly O’Hatherine: I talk like I wanna’ be a hero but what have I done lately other than talk a bunch of shite on social media? Fawk all nothin’ is what I’ve done. Just been waitin’ by tha’ phone, lookin’ ta’ get booked and neglecting you good people, my fans, Tha’ Clan Hatchet.

Her eyes lift back to the crowd around her.

Molly O’Hatherine: Each and e’ery person who stands in that crowd, cheerin’ me on when I’m in this ring is family to me. It’s more than just wrestlers who are me friends, it’s all of you, fer when I step out in this ring, even when I’m alone, yer there ta’ give me strength and push me on when all else has gone. Without all of you wonderful people, there’d be no Molly Hatchet ta’ even have a clan ta’ call family. From the bottom of me heart, thank ye’ all so kindly to those in attendance and tha’ billions watchin’ at home from all over tha’ world.

There’s a good pop from the crowd which brings a smile to her face.

Molly O’Hatherine: WE ARE HATCHET CLAN!!!!!

She thrusts her fist in the air to a huge crowd pop, her back turned to the entrance. Suddenly the fans shift into an uproar as an adult male, described only as wearing a dark hoodie and cargo pants, jumps the barricade! Event security comes around to swarm the ringside area, but the man is quick enough to hit the ring and slide under the bottom rope!

Spazz: What the fuck! Is that the mook that blew all his money at the Casino? Why’s he out here attacking Molly Hatchet?!

Vance Isaac Parker: I can’t say for certain but the body structure looks similar.

Molly quickly spins around ready to fight, because when a fan tries to step in our world, they have to be treated the worst. The man hesitates for a second, he presses one hand to his ear, then leaps forward and BAM - the thrusts his elbow back, and to the left, across Molly’s left orbital socket (in a pseudo “Judas Effect” esque move)! Naturally Molly goes down and the man begins to incessantly stomp at her side, her arm, while the entirety of the EPIC venue grows to a deafening pitch of hatred for the man’s actions!

Spazz: This guy doesn’t know what he just did does he?

Vance Isaac Parker: I don’t know but she’s answering back big time!!!

The man stands up tall, throwing back his hood to reveal what Spazz and VIP had alluded to, the first direct-to-EPIC debut in this show’s short history. Thinking he just got a free name for himself, the man lets loose a cheesy 80’s horse laugh laugh and begins to leave the ring, until a pair of light flickers flash the arena, and VIP takes to a live microphone from the commentary box.

Vance Isaac Parker: Can I have your attention please? I’ve just received an e-mail, from a high-ranking One Dub executive. And I quote, “This is One Wrestle Movement, and around here if you want to make an impact, you need to expect others want to make an impact on you. 3 Card Monty, if that’s what you want us to call you, congratulations, well done on your ‘debut’, but I’m afraid that’s not all for you tonight. Our fans expect competition, and I can think of no better competition right now, than that woman in that ring that you just callously cold clocked with that devastating elbow. Do you get what I’m saying? We’re going to have an unannounced match, right here, right now, and it’s gonna be 3 Card Monty vs Molly Hatchet! And Monty, congratulations on signing your deal with One Wrestle Movement...looks like Molly Hatchet would like to be the first to send her best regards to you!”

DING DING DING!!!

An angry Molly Hatchet gets up following that long diatribe and lunges at him and the sudden addition of a referee sliding into the ring and motioning for the ring of a bell!

Vance Isaac Parker: And we have ourselves a match on the fly, here and now!

Molly drives 3CM into the corner with rapid fire left’s and rights, finishing it off with a SPIRAL DROPKICK to the chest. He falls to a seat in the corner as the Ginger Ninja backrolls to her feet and rushes in with a knee, but 3CM catches it and shoves her back! As she stumbles, he pulls himself up and rushes her. She ducks his running clothesline, rushing into the corner and hopping to the top. He turns and sprints back just as she flips through the air, landing behind him. 3CM spins around with a backfist and Molly ducks, catches the arm and flips him to the canvas with a cross armbar!

Spazz: The Ginger Ninja coming out of the gate swinging and that Spiral Dropkick is nothing short of fancy yo! Running knee blocked and shove back by 3CM! 3CM with a clothesline, Molly ducks, going up top! Moonsault dodged, Backfist caught and to the canvas with a cross armbreaker!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: Hatchet is going to work here!

He flails around, trying to get out as Molly cranks his arm, but due to his larger size, manages to maneuver them both into the ropes, where he grabs it and screams for the ref to get her off of him! As she releases the hold and is backed up by the ref, 3CM rolls out of the ring, clutching his arm. He walks over to the ring barricade, trading insults with a fan and then turning back to the ring. The surprise on his face speaks volumes when Molly Hatchet suddenly rocks him off his feet with a flying suicide senton! She pops up with a wild cry, beating her fist to her chest.

Molly O’Hatherine: FFFAAWWWK YYYYEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!

Spazz: B-E-A-UTIFUL Suicide Senton on 3CM! You can’t take your eyes off Molly for one second yo!

Vance Isaac Parker: Truer words were never spoken! She’s like a caffeinated jumping bean!

3CM pulls himself up to his feet on the railing, then stumbles away from her, half running. He ducks down on the opposite side of the ring, seemingly hurt from her vantage point, but out of view, he’s fishing under the apron for something….

Vance Isaac Parker: 3CM’s fishing for an equalizer!

Spazz: This ain’t no hardcore match, bro. Yous better be looking for a bottle of our sponsor, Mountain Dew Zero and gettin’ some refreshment up in here!!!

Molly moves in on him quickly, grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him to a stand only to eat a SAVAGE chair shot to the skull that sends her staggering! The referee motions for the bell!

Spazz: And the match ends with a swing to the fences and a very pissed off looking ref!

DING DING DING!!!

Jacquie Lacroix: Here is your winner by disqualification… MOLLY HATCHET!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: Well he certainly wasn’t winning that fight. Molly was all over him like a spider monkey!

c3CM wallops her with a second chair shot, putting her down flat on her back. He then holds the chair up over his head shouting, “WHO WON? HUH?! HUH?! I’M WALKIN’ AWAY! SHE’S NOT!!!” The man then heads to the back, Molly fighting to get to her feet and death glaring at him from on her knees as a thin streak of blood runs down the side of her face….[/color]

Spazz: Now that’s a freaking scowl son. If looks could kill, homeboy would be dead and buried six times over by now!

Vance Isaac Parker: There’s a lot of ways one might try and debut in this business. Picking a fight with Molly Hatchet is not what I’d consider “high on my list” though...

A quiet hush washes over the two-man commentary team overlooking the action from on high until Spazz makes an impromptu announcement.

Spazz: *suddenly startled* AH FUCK! YO! Turn the volume down in the earpiece! I just heard we got word from the 1WM offices that the TLC match with Q and Cross just became a triple threat.

Vance Issac Parker: A triple threat? But it was already a TLC match, why would you add more spice to an already spicy dish?! That’s overkill!

Spazz: No kill like overkill, my dude. Someone’s gonna’ get injected into this match whether they like it or not!

Triple Threat Tables, Ladders, And Chairs Match
"Ya Girl" Q
versus
Justice Cross
versus

Jacquie Lacroix: The following contest is the triple threat tables, ladders, and chairs match! The only way to win is to climb the ladder and take possession of the briefcase! Inside the briefcase is a contract granting the winner the ability to book any non-title match for a future Epic broadcast before Epic 10.

Vance Issac Parker: Big stakes on the line here, though. Can you imagine what you could do with such power?!

Spazz: Yous could do alotta’ damage to someone that pissed you off with that, for starters. You could throw ‘em at Ursula Von Rossbach, give Driller a 30-minute Drill with some poor bastard, or give yourself a contendership match to face a future champion because they said no titles, but they didn’t say jack about stips!

Once Justice and Q make their entrances, Spazz and VIP watch intently along with everyone else to find out who the third man of the match will be until the instrumental version of Rock Me Amadeus by Falco plays through the crackling low-budget sound system to everyone’s surprise!

Spazz: Yo…. I like that song. Oh wait, that’s your theme, dog. You up?

Vance Issac Parker: Wait, me?! I’ve been doing this for four months, and now I get this huge match opportunity! Alright. EPIC may be where I create, not where I compete, but if that’s what has been decided then I will be the hero this show needs!

As VIP gets out of the booth, a familiar face slips in before the door closes. None other than “Old School Cool” Don Tirri. The big Finn sits down on the seat vacated by VIP and puts on a headset.

Don Tirri: Yo, guess I’ll fill in for now. Can’t let you call this alone now can I?

Spazz: You could, but then I don’t get to hear you riffin’ on people or maybe see you boot some jackass upside the head ‘cause they think they’re too pretty to do shit the right way.

Triple Threat Tables, Ladders, And Chairs Match
"Ya Girl" Q
versus
Justice Cross
versus
Vance Isaac Parker

Both Justice Cross and Q look to be confused as VIP makes his way down to the ring and rolls inside. Q grins, and Justice shrugs as the referee calls for the bell.

DING DING DING!!!

Q slinks over to a corner and watches while Justice makes a beeline for VIP, the crowd getting into it as Justice sends him flying with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Knee drop on VIP by Cross. In the background, Q has snuck to the outside and is looking under the ring. Justice Cross tries for a leg drop, and the crowd perks up as Vance rolls out of the way. They perk up even more as Q launches two chairs into the ring! VIP gets out of the line of fire and drags Justice to her feet as Q locates a table and sets it up at ringside with violent intentions. Then she slides another table underneath the ropes.

Don Tirri: And we’re off to a rocking start, already seeing tables. Where’s the ladders?

Spazz: Over there, over there, and up there. Plus one under the ring ‘cause you know wrestlers, they always be breakin’ shit and needing spares!

VIP Irish whips Justice into the corner and leans the table in the ring against the corner, getting out of the way just in time to avoid the ladder that Q angrily hurls in his general direction. VIP turns his attention to Cross and launches at her with a stinger splash, yet Justice evades, and Vance ends up stuck on the top rope. Justice picks up a steel chair and opens it, looking over her back to see Q sliding back in the ring with another chair. Justice turns back around and climbs to the second rope herself, issuing a sharp forearm to VIP as she gives the signal. SUNSET FLIP ONTO THE OPEN CH~NO! VIP manages to backflip his way out of that predicament, and Justice ends up getting bombed on the chair! Justice bounces off, writhes in agony, and rolls to the outside.

Don Tirri: Oof, she’s gonna feel THAT in the morning!

Spazz: Sweet Sunset turned into a Suicide Overdrive! Nice!!!

Q snarls as she picks her time, coming out of her corner with a furious-looking chair shot as VIP turns around… but he ducks! VIP with the go behind!

*CRASH*

VIP launches Q through the table in the corner with a release German suplex! VIP goes for the ladder, sets it up in the center of the ring, and starts the climb!

Don Tirri: Climb kid, climb! Get that briefcase!

Spazz: Don’t embarrass us at the announce table, yo! Show that bitch commentary whups that ass!

Justice crawls over and starts to groggily climb the other side of the ladder! Justice growls as she starts to punch her rival with intensity, but he responds with a barrage of elbows and forearms before launching her off the ladder into the table at ringside with a suplex! The two break the wooden furniture and smash into the orange-brown dirt floor, a cloud of smoke billowing around them while the crowd erupts into shock, and then cheers!

Don Tirri: I believe the reaction for this is… HOLY SHIT!

Spazz: That table didn’t see it coming, yo! Dead AF!!!!

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

With the two of them out cold outside the ring, Q climbs to her feet in the corner out of the splinters and wood debris to a roar of boos, then climbs the ladder underneath the briefcase. Unhooking it, she clutches it in her hands with a cocky smile before slowly climbing down again.

DING DING DING!!!

Jacquie Lacroix: The winner of this match… by retrieving the Epic Briefcase… “Ya Girl” Q!!!

Q absorbs the BOOOs she receives and takes a bow before she leaves through the curtain with her prize.

Don Tirri: Q saw an opportunity and took it. Smart play. Just… someone check on Vance, aight?

Spazz: Nah, he’ll be ok. That thick skull saved his life. Now the million-dollar question is, what the fuck is Q gonna’ do with that contract?

Don Tirri: Good question. I know what I’d do with it.

Spazz: They’re cartin’ VIP off. Dude got knocked flat stupid at the end there. Maybe he’ll pull through tho.

Don Tirri: Well, if the kid can’t make it, I’ll just stick around aight? I used to do a lot of commentary for another promotion back in the day, so who knows. Maybe the powers that be will end up hiring me full-time for Epic.

Spazz: Hey, it’s what VIP was doing before. Wrestlin’ and jackin’ jaws with your’s truly.

Don Tirri: Hey, that’s what professionals do!

Epic 4 cuts to the backstage where there is a wall of a steel cage standing between the camera and Jack Riggs, classic cage match promo set-up obviously. Jack is pacing around, a fire burning bright inside his eyes. He finally stops, grabbing the cage and shaking it a bit as he glares into the camera.

Jack Riggs: William fucking James fucking Cordova, you stupid piece of shit, you fucking ready? You ready to step into a fucking cage with me? With a fucking scumbag who will do anything to win? A fucking asshole who will break you apart piece by piece until you are nothing left but a little pile of blood smeared on my hands? Because you act like you are the hottest shit in this company. You walk around with her chest out like every fucking person in 1-M-Dub should be bowing down to you because you are so fucking amazing. It's bullshit.

Jack slams his hands against the cage wall, making it shake violently. He turns a bit, running his hand down his face before turning back to the camera.

Jack Riggs: You are good. Nobody is saying you aren't, but you aren't all you make yourself out to be. You ain't the top dog in this company. Just a few days ago, Don fucking Butterball Tirri tapped you out in the center of the ring, and you just took it like a bitch after. What happened after I lost? I found the dude, and I ended him. That is what I do. I fuck people up, and I make sure they remember me. I make a fucking impact each and every time I step in the ring with someone. No matter what happens inside this cage, you'll be marked for life from it.

Riggs turns around, grabbing his signature red cap and putting it on slowly. He is a few feet away from the cage and looking around at it for a second.

Jack Riggs: This is some MMA cage shit, but I don't care what they want to call it. You are going to be locked inside a cage with a fucking monster. I ain't all there. I'm a bit fucking nuts, so you better be too. I may throw some kicks and shit, but I may just take your smug little face and grind it into the side of the cage until your bitch of a wife doesn't even want to look at you ever again.

Jack runs up to the cage with a grin on his face, thinking about hurting his opponent. He stops and holds his hands up, slowing himself down.

Jack Riggs: I ain't even doing this just for me either. I'm doing this for my dude Driller too. I'm doing it for every single person in the back you act like you are better than. For every one you look down to and act like you are better than. I'm doing it because you’re so full of shit it's coming out of your fucking ears, and someone needs to hurt you. Strap your fucking shoes on Cordova because you are in for a brutal fucking ride tonight, and when it is over if my hand is in the air, I hope you are a man of your fucking word, and I never have to look at your fucking face again in this company. Realistically though, you are a fucking liar and a douche-bag, so it's not fucking likely you will keep your word. Right now though, I ain't too worried about that. I am totally focused on hurting you and walking out of that cage with the win to show you that you ain't shit.

He stands there and stares forward for a second, breathing heavily. Jack punches the cage once before turning and heading off out of the camera.

Six Sides Of Steel Mixed Martial Arts Match
William James Cordova
versus
Jack Riggs

Jacquie Lacroix: The following is the six sides of steel mixed martial arts match! There will be a maximum of three five-minute rounds. The only way to win is by knockout, submission, disqualification, forfeit, or by referee's decision.

Don Tirri: Cordova is a tough sonovabitch. He NEARLY got me when we fought for the Glory belt. But Riggs is a nasty one. Gonna be a helluva match this.

Spazz: Jackie boy ain’t right in the head, yo. You should’ve seen his pre-match ritual. Dude was brutal AF to himself gettin’ ready for this match.

Jacquie Lacroix: ROUND 1 - FFFFIGHT!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Cordova begins the match working the crowd for a moment, getting a few cheap pops as he keeps his back to Riggs in an arrogant display of cockiness. He pays for it with a running punch to the back of his neck, sending him into the cage wall! He spins around with a back elbow but Riggs blocks it, checks him in the ribs with a brutal knee, followed by combination lefts and rights, driving him to the canvas. He backs up yelling.

Jack Riggs: GET UP BITCH! YOU WANNA’ TALK SHIT BOY?! GET BIT!! COME ON!!!

Cordova pulls himself up on the cage wall and rushes in only to get a stern kick to the gut that drives him back. Cordova bounces off the cage wall and into Riggs arms, where he hits a Tornado DDT right on the canvas! He then mounts Cordova’s back and drives an elbow into the top of his head multiple times before rising off of him when the crowd boos. Riggs throws his arms out, shouting to the crowd.

Jack Riggs: OOOOHHH BOOOOO!!! BOOOO!!! YOUR BOY CAN’T FIGHT! BILLY AIN’T SHIT!!!

Don Tirri: Well, that’s just unnecessary if you ask me.

Spazz: Dude be talkin’ all the shit, but he’s in the lead here big time. Cordova’s gonna’ have to really dig deep to come back up in here.

What he doesn’t see is Cordova getting up behind him, shaking his head while Riggs taunts and flips off the crowd. Riggs runs around and RYDE OF YOUR LIFE SUPERKICK!!!! His head snaps back, and Riggs goes down. Cordova wags his finger and does a little dance in celebration. Riggs kips to his feet, surprising, WJC who quickly hops back and fires off another kick but this time, Riggs catches it and pulls him forward by that leg while ducking his shoulder, ramming it square into WJC’s groin while lifting him up and brutally powerslamming him to the cage wall headfirst.

DING DING DING!!!

The bell rings to end the first round, but Cordova is knocked completely unconscious seconds after!

Don Tirri: Saved by the bell! And I don’t mean the damn sitcom, so don’t even ask.

Spazz: I had a crush on Kelly Kapowski as a kid, no lie.

Before the start of the next round, Rigs is arguing with the Referee while attendants revive WJC with smelling salts.

Jack Riggs: CALL THE MATCH! I KNOCKED HIM THE FUCK OUT!!!

Referee: IT WAS AFTER THE BELL RANG! IT DOESN’T COUNT!!!

Jack Riggs: YOU WANT THIS FUCKER DEAD?! FINE BY ME!!!

Don Tirri: Riggs ain’t happy. Tough break, douche. No shortcuts for you!

Spazz: Dude’s a legit killer, though. Yous really think it’s a good idea to send this guy out for a round two, considering he technically didn’t survive round one?

Don Tirri: I’ve been knocked out and come back for the big win.

Jacquie Lacroix: ROUND 2 - FFFFIGHT!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Riggs lights up a still dazed William Cordova, just brutally battering him to the floor. Just as the ref is about to call Cordova out cold, however, Riggs pulls him up and holds him in his arms, making it look as though Cordova was locking up when in reality the man was unconscious! He “dances” around the ring with him, slamming him over and over into the cage walls.

Don Tirri: Riggs oughta just put him out… This’ll come back to bite him.

Spazz: Yeah, you don’t play with your food in this game! It’ll bite back hard ‘cause live prey don’t fuck around when cornered!

During this moment of ye’ old arrogant hubris, however, WJC comes back to life! A forearm shot suddenly sends Riggs back. The bloodied and battered Cordova comes at him like a wild animal, swinging for the fences, but Riggs goes for the legs, takes him down, flips him over and locks on a grapevine ankle lock!

Jack Riggs: TAAAAP!!! TTTAAAAAPPPP, BITCH!! TTTAAAAPP!!

Riggs shouts the words as he cranks that ankle!

William James Cordova: NNNNNNNOOOO!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Don Tirri: Saved by the bell AGAIN. Billy is a stubborn fool, but Riggs isn’t the smartest either. He could’ve already had this in the bag. Typical Kartel-material.

Spazz: I think Jackie boy is milking this to torture Cordova as much as humanly possible, dog. That’s how sick fucks do.

With all the time that Riggs spent torturing and playing with the man, WJC manages to just barely wait out the clock for round two, and the referee is forced to break up the hold. Riggs gets right in the ref’s face, shouting at him about not calling the match. The ref just shrugs his shoulders.

Don Tirri: Quit bitching, Riggs. You had your chance to end it. You didn’t take it.

Spazz: I get the feeling he wants the ref to carry all the blame if he does actually end up going too far in this one. That’s typical Kartel for you, do the act and shift the blame. “Nah, it’s your own damn fault I kicked you down a flight of stairs!”

Don Tirri: That’s what I call Bart Simpson logic.

Jacquie Lacroix: ROUND 3 - FFFFIGHT!

DING DING DING!!!

WJC is limping when he enters this round. The fans are chanting for him to make a comeback. There’s a tear in his eye as the immense pain he’s in has really caught up with him. Riggs circles him, pumping his fists in front of him with a dangerous smile on his face. The two move in and Cordova fakes out with a high right into a European uppercut that catches Riggs off guard! He lays into Riggs, driving him back, the fans cheering him on hard.

Don Tirri: Cordova with a hope spot!

Spazz: The comeback is real! Fake-out to a Euro Upper and then every left, right combination in the world!

This lasts until a sudden stomp on his ankle brings him screaming to the canvas in agony! Riggs locks on a tight ankle lock once more, just violently wrenching. In the middle of the ring, WJC taps out!

Jacquie Lacroix: The winner of this match… by submission in the third round… Jack Riggs!!!

Don Tirri: Well, so much for that. Thanks for coming, Billy.

Spazz: Fuuuuuuuck, I didn’t hear it, but you could see where his ankle went snap man! Holy shit.

The cage starts rising off of the ring. The crowd boos in an uproar when Riggs doesn’t release the ankle and instead gives it one last big wrenching.

Don Tirri: Oh c’mon, You’ve made your point, Riggs. Just fucking STOP!

Spazz: YO YO YO!!! STOP IT, MAN! MOTHERFUCKER’S ALREADY DEAD!!! THE WAR’S OVER!

Just before the ref counts for the decision to be reversed, Riggs lets it go and rolls out of the ring. He fishes under the apron for a chair and rolls back in with it, blasting the referee in short order and then turning his attention to WJC, still clutching at his leg. Jack raises the chair….

*KERPLACKT!*

...Blasts his ankle, getting more screams from WJC!

*KERPLACKT! KERPLACKT! KEEEERPPPLLLLAAACCCCKT!!*

Three more times, he blasts Cordova’s ankle cruelly. Cordova is babbling incoherently, delirious with pain as Jack Riggs locks the chair around his ankle, jumps up, and double foot stomps on the end of the chair to get one wild cry of pure torturous murder from William James Cordova before he blacks out from the pain.

Jack Riggs: THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!!! HOW GREAT ARE YOU NOW, BITCH MADE BOY?!!! HUH? HUH? HUH?!!!

Jack then drops out of the ring with his music playing, fingers pointed up in the air as he heads straight to the back while EMTs rush in and surround William James Cordova, paying special attention to his ankle.

Don Tirri: Fucking hell… We got ANOTHER cunt like that? Like Drill wasn’t enough…

Spazz: Drill’s a petty asshole. Jackie Boy is a legit psycho motherfucker, Don. That dude is scary AF!

Vance Issac Parker: Ohmygooooossshhh. I don’t….I mean I remember being on a ladder then it all went fuzzy. I’m not sure this match type is in my……….future.

Spazz: Welcome back to the booth, Vipster Hipster!

Don Tirri: Dang, there goes my permanent commentator status.

Vance Issac Parker: I take a bad fall, and you start planning my exit? I can feel the love here.

Spazz: It’s how wrestler’s show love.

Don Tirri: By being dicks to each other.

Spazz: Just in time to call the commercial. You got this!

Vance Issac Parker: And what a sponsor it is! Ohmygosh I love this show! Ladies, gentlemen, you know how most reality television shows manufacture drama to seem real? Well not this sponsor. Liberty City Survivor is THE SHOW to watch! It’s got drama, it’s got surprise, it’s got violence, and even if you miss it’s primetime television slot, there’s a twenty-four hour live webcast so you can catch up! And the object is simple, you just need to be the last person standing! What do you get when you take twenty members of the absolute dregs of society and give them heavy military arms? Well, let’s roll the clip so you can find out yourself! Liberty City Survivor folks; Natural Selection has come home!

We cut to Driller Jaworski, who is in a dark, undisclosed location. The camera is right up on his face, an extreme close-up that could give anyone watching chills.

Driller Jaworski: My brother-in-arms, Jack Riggs, asked me if I was going to demand that my match tonight against Don Tirri be a Glory Championship Match. I said no. Tonight is not about the Glory Championship. There will be other nights to fight for gold. Tonight is not one of those nights. Rather, my match against Tirri is about two more important things. The first one is sending a message to Don Tirri. What’s the message? Be careful who you hunt. After I put Erick St. John out of wrestling for good one month ago, Tirri was one of those self-righteous idiots who got on social media and criticized me. However, Tirri took it one step further. He said that I was in his “crosshairs.” You ever read “The Most Dangerous Game,” Tirri? Basically, a big-game hunter gets bored hunting animals and decides to start hunting men that he’s captured on his own private island. One of the men he hunts outsmarts him and ends up killing him at the end of the story.

What you’re playing right now is the most dangerous game, my man. You decided, without any personal provocation from me towards you, to come after me because of what I did to Erick St. John. I had no intention of meeting you in the ring. You weren’t on my radar in any way. Just like William James Cordova, you made yourself known to me and got my attention. Now, you’ve got to deal with the consequences of your decision. You put me in your crosshairs and decided to hunt me, but when it’s all said and done tonight, the only animal that’s going to be put down is you.

What a lack of foresight you had in deciding that you were going to come at me. Look at you, a twenty-five-year veteran who just made history six days ago by becoming the inaugural Glory Champion. You defied the odds. You defied the laws of time and nature. When many people probably thought that a guy like you was past his prime, you proved them all wrong and outlasted all of the other talented wrestlers in the Glory Championship tournament.

And how are you following up such a gargantuan achievement? By stepping into the ring with me. I bet that if you had the power to see into the future if you had been able to see that you were going to become the first Glory Champion, you would not have decided to take what I did to ESJ personally. I bet you would have thought that perhaps, it would be best to just leave well enough alone so that you could enjoy your championship reign and not put it in jeopardy. But you didn’t think that way, and now, the party’s over. The story of the grizzled vet winning one last title is going to have an epilogue that includes me beating you within an inch of your life and you suddenly feeling older than the advanced age you are now.

And it’s all going to happen because you had to pretend to be valiant and stand up to big, bad, evil Driller. What a crock of shit you are. You know that this sport is a mud-show. You know there is no morality in this business. Anybody who thinks that it ever did is naïve. But you’re not naïve. No, you’ve been around this business long enough to know that everyone in it would throw their grandmother over a cliff if it meant getting ahead. Hey, that actually sounds fun.

Anyway, you know deep down in your heart that what I did to Erick St. John wasn’t out of the ordinary for this business. You’ve probably done something similar or worse in your twenty-five years. I’ve seen you practically admit that you have been a bastard in the past, so don’t pass judgment on me. What I did to ESJ was simply something that has been allowed for years in professional wrestling. In fact, promoters would never say this out loud, but they like when people like me do what I did to ESJ. For them, it means fan interest, ticket sales, and money.

People like to see fighting. They like to see blood. They like to see pain. You ever watch people rubberneck when a car accident happens? That’s the professional wrestling business. A wreck happens in the ring, and the fans rubberneck because they want to see how much damage was done. If they’re lucky, they’ll get to see a dead body.

I am providing a service to the fans, and I am being enabled by the professional wrestling business for that end. I take advantage of this sport’s lax enforcement of rules and morality. I am a promoter’s dream, and all you want to do is take that away in some perverted quest to be seen as the wise, old vet who wants to uphold the honor of a sport that has never been honorable. Save the act. Scratch that. I’m going to save everyone from your act, and if I can do enough damage, maybe the world will have one less hypocrite polluting the air with their carbon dioxide.

Now, as far as my second purpose in fighting you tonight: The last time I stepped into a 1WM ring, I failed. I didn’t fail because I went to a draw with Griffin Hawkins. I failed because I did not do what The Compulsion ordered me to do. When I put Griffin’s hair-sprayed head through that announce table, I thought I was done, but just like when I assaulted Erick St. John, The Compulsion told me that it wasn’t satisfied with what I had done. It wanted more. It ordered me to pull those mats back on the outside floor and expose the concrete. It said, “I want Griffin Hawkins to be SCREWED.” And I listened because The Compulsion has been good to me, and I am forever in its debt. So I grabbed that skinny punk by his stupid hair, and I lifted him in position to be dropped right onto that concrete head first.

And as I held him up, I stopped to dream about how wonderful it was going to be to look down and see EMTs stabilizing his head and checking his pupils and his vital signs, and asking him if he could feel anything from the neck down. I dreamt of the tears welling up in his eyes as he realized his career was suddenly over. He would never wrestle again. He would never hop onstage and jump around like an overactive child while shrieking into a microphone ever again. How would he provide for his family? What kind of quality life was he going to have?

Yes, it was a beautiful dream I was having. But I dreamt too long. I probably shouldn’t have been dreaming at all. I should have immediately finished the deed, but my success in distracting myself allowed Kip Winger to slip out of my grasp and kick me right in the face. Ever since then, The Compulsion has been hard on me. “Fool,” it says, “you had him right where you wanted him, and you let him get away because you were daydreaming like an imbecilic little child!” And you know what? It’s right. I was an imbecile. I got caught up in the moment and didn’t focus on the task at hand. In doing so, I let The Compulsion down.

However, The Compulsion isn’t the only one I let down. I let down my family, the Kali Kartel, down as well. I promised them that I was going to get rid of Griffin Hawkins once and for all, this man that has been railing against them for months because he’s a self-righteous fool just like you, Tirri. And I couldn’t follow through on that promise. I broke it. Instead of breaking him, I broke my word. My family has been more forgiving than The Compulsion. They haven’t called me names. They haven’t expressed their disappointment at me. Still, I can’t help but shake the guilt over not doing what I promised them I would do.

I let everyone who cared for me down. The Compulsion, the Kartel, they are the only ones who look out for me. They are the only people who want what’s best for me. They support me. They make me stronger. They make me powerful, and all they want in return is for me to go out to that ring and destroy people, people who think they’re invincible, people who think they’re morally superior.

People just like you, Tirri. I need to do right by The Compulsion, who gave me the gift of violence. I need to do right by my family, who gives me love and acceptance. I need to make up for my failure, and the only way I can do that is by putting you down and putting you out, Tirri. I need to do that. I need to do that more than you will ever know. I cannot rest my head easy at the end of this night unless I leave you lying in that ring. That’s more important than gold. That’s more important than prize money. You want to know what the real prize is tonight, Tirri? Your fucking head.

Driller continues to stare into the camera intensely, breathing heavily, as the screen fades to black.

Vance Isaac Parker: Driller Jaworski, everyone. I’m not sure if this ape likes the sound of his own voice, or if he actually believes the words he’s saying here. But I hope he fails. I hope tonight our Glory Champion humbles him. I hope tonight is the night he learns that he can’t do whatever he wants, and what he does do, has real costs.

No Time Limit Singles Match
Driller Jaworski
versus
Don Tirri

Jacquie Lacroix: The following is our main event, and it’s scheduled for one fall with NO TIME LIMIT!

"Ace of Spades" by Motorhead plays.

Jacquie Lacroix: Introducing first, from Helsinki, Finland, weighing in at 280 pounds... he is the first-ever One Wrestle Movement Glory Champion, "Old School Cool" Don Tirri!

Vance Issac Parker: There is the belief, shared by Don Tirri, that Driller Jaworski cannot go longer than five minutes, which is why this match was given the No Time Limit stipulation! We'll see if that belief holds water tonight as Driller goes up against a celebrated veteran of the sport and our first Glory Champion!

Spazz: Here comes ye’ old shaved ape, Driller J!

Driller attempts to attack Tirri in the aisle just like he attacked Griffin Hawkins in the aisle last week, but Tirri sees Driller at the last second and ducks. Driller turns around and is met by three right hands. He stumbles towards the ring and Tirri follows after him. He rolls Driller into the ring, rips off his title belt, and enters the ring himself. The ref calls for the bell to start the match.

Spazz: Not today, you overgrown Monkey! Tirri not letting Big boy take him for a ride tonight!

Tirri gets Driller into the corner and continues to pound on him with rapid-fire right hands. Driller gets worn down and falls to his butt, where Tirri stomps a mudhole in him.

Vance Issac Parker: Tirri looking to wear Driller down early!

Tirri whips Driller into the opposite corner and charges with a corner avalanche. Driller stumbles out of the corner, holding on to the top rope for balance. Tirri sends him off the ropes and telegraphs a backdrop, but Driller kicks him in the face. He grabs Tirri and throws him through the ropes to the outside. He wastes no time in going to the outside and throwing the timekeeper to the ground so he can take his chair. He folds the chair up and walks to Tirri. He lifts the chair high, but before he can send it down on Tirri's back, Tirri stops him with a right hand to the gut. Driller lets out a yell and drops the chair. Tirri sends him face-first into the ring post.

Spazz: Trash talk gets you a face plant in a ring post! BOOOOOONG!

Vance Issac Parker: He looks like he just ran a hundred yard dash in a ninety yard building!

Tirri rolls into the ring to stop the ref's count but rolls right back out. He whips Driller into the guardrail and charges, but Driller moves out of the way at the last second. Tirri goes over the metal guardrail and into the crowd. Driller steps over the guardrail and whips Tirri into the guardrail himself. Tirri holds his back in pain but tries to keep himself upright. Driller grabs him and whips him into the guardrail two more times. The ref jumps out of the ring and orders Driller to bring Tirri back into the squared circle.

Driller Jaworski: Shut up!

Driller lifts Tirri, and military press slams him over the guardrail and back to the ringside floor, where Tirri belly flops upon landing. He holds his stomach and looks like he's trying to catch his breath.

Spazz: Driller making a comeback, and Military press throw over the guardrail to the floor! That’ll suck the air outta’ your lungs.

Driller steps back over the guardrail and smiles as he sees his opponent writhing in pain on the floor. He gets him to his feet but just sounds him down again with a right hand. The ref once again orders the match back in the ring and restarts his count. Driller finally rolls Tirri back into the ring. Driller follows. He looks to the crowd and runs his thumb across his throat. He sets Tirri up for Screwed and lifts, but Tirri wiggles free and lands on his feet. Next, he traps Driller in a sleeper hold. Driller lifts Tirri and falls into the corner, but Tirri holds on. Driller falls back into the corner again, but Tirri continues to hold on. Driller tries one more time, and although Tirri looks pained, he grabs the sleeper tighter.

Vance Issac Parker: This is how Erick St. John was able to beat The Five-Minute Drill!

Spazz: Tirri has to get Driller down to the mat if he wants to turn this into the Chokeout!

Driller stumbles to the middle of the ring. In a desperation move, he runs toward the ropes. Both he and Tirri spill out to the floor, finally causing Tirri to let go of the hold.

Crowd: Oooooo!

Spazz: Past the 5-minute mark, and Driller just barely saves his own ass by dumping both himself and the Donster Monster out of the ring!

Vance Issac Parker: Donster Monster?

Spazz: Live a little, dog.

Vance Isaac Parker: Nevertheless, we’ve now seen Jaworski in the longest match he’s had in One Dub to date. How will he adapt?

Driller shakes off the cobwebs while Tirri holds his back from hitting the apron. He walks toward Driller and goes for a right hand, but Driller traps him around the waist and throws him with a belly-to-belly release overhead suplex.

Vance Issac Parker: Driller is a neanderthal, but he is powerful!

Spazz: A bulldozer doesn’t have to be smart to do its job.

Driller drives Tirri into his shoulder. He backs up a few feet and goes for a running big boot. Tirri ducks, and Driller accidentally kicks a fan in the face!

Vance Issac Parker: What kind of an outlaw mudshow are we producing here?! Jump the barricade, and get what’s coming to you, but we let one of our own nail a fan? Well, I suspect Jaworski will get his pink slip after this match then. He’s gonna get this company sued!

Spazz: Where’d you learn your body control at, the fucking brail institute? Fucking disgrace yo!

With Driller crotched on the guardrail, Tirri takes advantage and sends Driller down with a neckbreaker. Tirri checks on the fan, but security has everything under control, so he brings his attention back to Driller and stomps another mudhole in him. Then, he climbs onto the apron, gets a running start, and connects with the Old-School Elbow.

Spazz: Even at 42, he still goes for that move like a crazy motherfucker!

The ref almost gets to 10, but Tirri rolls Driller into the ring and comes back in himself. He goes for the cover.

1...2...

Driller kicks out. Tirri signals that he's going to go for The Boot. He backs up to the opposite end of the ring and waits for Driller to get to his feet. When Driller is upright, Tirri charges and gets his boot up, but Driller catches him and throws him with an exploder suplex.

Spazz: 10 minutes aaaaaaand counting! Well, at least he can keep up with his girlfriend, even if she’s just five fingers and a palm. *snickers*

Vance Issac Parker: This must feel like an iron man match for Driller!

Driller gets Tirri up and starts smashing him with elbows before sending him off the ropes and crushing him with a spinning side slam. He follows up with a series of elbow drops followed by choking. The ref counts to four, but Driller won't let go. The ref grabs Driller and pulls him off of Driller. Driller and the ref argue. Driller grabs the ref's shirt, but the ref swats Driller's hand away. Driller goes to deck the ref, but he sees Tirri get to his knees and decides to go after him instead. However, as he approaches Tirri, Tirri shoots up and picks up Driller for a Samoan Drop. He immediately goes for the cover.

1...2...

Driller kicks out. Tirri grabs Driller in a headlock and runs to execute a bulldog, but Driller pushes him chest first into the corner. Tirri stumbles backward, and Driller catches him with a German suplex.

Spazz: Tirri just got yeeted German style right on his head and neck!

Vance Issac Parker: And look how Driller follows it up!

Driller turns Tirri onto his stomach and locks him in a camel clutch. The ref asks Tirri if he submits, but Tirri vehemently refuses. Finally, Tirri finds the strength to get to his feet and lift the big man up. Driller can't believe Tirri's feat of strength. Tirri walks to the ropes and drops Driller, hung over the top rope. Tirri finishes the job and pushes Driller, who falls to the outside floor.

Spazz: Camel clutch locked in on Don the Bomb!

Vance Issac Parker: Not this way! Not this way!

Spazz: I’ve seen stronger men get broke and made humble in that old ass but still deadly AF move!

Tirri goes to the floor and throws Driller into the guardrail with the Sack of Shit. He follows up with repeated knee strikes to the supine Driller. He rolls into the ring to stop the ref's count. He gets Driller up and goes to whip him into the ring post, but Driller reverses. However, he holds on to Tirri and pulls him in for a swinging reverse STO right onto the floor. Driller pulls up the mats and goes to grab Tirri, but the ref gets in Driller's way and orders him back into the ring.

Spazz: The ref’s all like, “Nah dog, I ain’t puttin’ up with yo’ bullshit tonight!”

Vance Issac Parker: Awww shucky ducky here we go!

Spazz: What the HELL was that yo?

Vance Isaac Parker: ...Just trying something.

While Driller argues with the ref, Tirri gets in a sucker punch, which sends Driller stumbling around. Tirri pushes him into the ring post. Driller falls to the floor. Tirri gets him up with a stalling suplex right onto the exposed concrete. Driller howls in pain.

Spazz: Ooooooo fuck-a-duck, that hurt me just watching! Driller’s DONE!

Vance Issac Parker: But Tirri’s looking pretty winded too here!

The ref continues to yell, admonishing both men. He gets back in the ring and starts his 10 count.

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

Tirri rolls back into the ring.

6...

7...

8...

Driller sits up with intensity in his eyes.

Spazz: Yous gotta’ be kidding me!

9...

Driller gets back in the ring at the last second. As he gets to his feet, Tirri comes off the ropes, but Driller comes off the adjacent ropes and smashes Tirri with The Pounce. He immediately grabs Tirri and slams him with a backdrop driver. Continuing his relentless attack, he lifts Tirri for a Powerbomb, but Tirri lands on his feet and hits the Morning After. Driller falls back into the ropes after the repeated headbutts. Tirri sends him off the ropes, but Driller reverses, pulls Tirri in and kicks him in the gut. Driller locks in a double underhook.

Spazz: DRILL BIT! NO! TIRRI BLOCKS THAT SHIT! GET OUTTA’ HERE!!!!

Tirri backdrops Driller. With Driller on his butt, Tirri pounces and gets his arms around and legs around him.

Spazz: THERE’S THA CHOKEOUT! IT’S OOOOVAH!!!

Vance Issac Parker: And Driller's not on his feet this time! He's in the middle of the ring! He's nowhere near the ropes!

Spazz: Driller’s going once…. Going twice… SOOOOOOLLLL-*interrupted*

The ref raises Driller's hand, but before he can let go, The Headhunters run into the ring and attack Tirri. The ref calls for the bell. The brothers drop rights and lefts onto the back of Tirri, but Tirri gets to his feet and fights back, giving alternating right hands to both men. With the distraction, Driller comes up from behind Tirri and lays him out with a lariat. The Headhunters get Tirri to his feet and offer him to Driller, who kicks Tirri in the gut and drops him on his head with The Drill Bit.

Spazz: BULLSHIT! WHERE’S SECURITY?!

Vance Issac Parker: Someone has GOT to put a stop to the Kartel once and for all!

The three Kartel members look down on Tirri. The Headhunters smile while Driller just stares down at the body, breathing like a raging bull. Satisfied, The Headhunters go to leave, but Driller doesn't follow. He just continues staring at Tirri. They look back at Driller, confused. Suddenly, Driller grabs Tirri's head and gets him back on his feet. He looks at the crowd and runs his thumb across his throat again. He sets up Tirri for Screwed, but Tirri pushes Driller away and desperately peppers Driller with right hands. The Calloways interject and grab both of Tirri's arms. Driller hits Tirri with a big boot. The brothers lift Tirri up and throw him into Driller, who lifts Tirri up in a vertical suplex.

Eric Calloway: Do it, big man, do it!

Driller sends Tirri down on his head with a sit-out Tombstone.

Spazz: Fucking bullshit! They screwed Tirri!

Vance Issac Parker: Literally and figuratively!

Driller demands that the ring attendant give him the Glory Championship. Driller takes the title and throws it onto the lifeless Don Tirri.

Dexter Calloway: How you like that, Donald?!

Driller continues to seethe at Tirri while The Headhunters lift Driller's arms in the air and point at their savage ally.

Vance Issac Parker: Despite what you see here, Driller Jaworski did NOT win this match! What a bunch of scumbags!

Spazz: You think they give a rat’s ass what two dudes at the table think? They don’t even give a damn about what their Mom’s think of them. Bunch of degenerate assholes.

We get one more shot of the Kartel standing triumphant over Don Tirri as the show nears its closing moments.

Spazz: That’s all the time we got! Until then, SNOOTCHIE BOOTCHES!!!!