Post by Vance Isaac Parker on May 16, 2021 4:55:05 GMT -8
We go backstage to see a giant backdrop for Glory, an advertisement for Legendary in Moscow, and a tagline "Something EPIC is Coming", joined soon after by none other than Meera Katz.
Meera Katz: Folks I'm here with...checks notes oh lordy, this guy again --
"Hey Meera, long time no see!"
To the left the camera pans to catch none other than Vance Isaac Parker, VIP. As a contrast to his Legendary appearance, tonight he was clad in jeans, a Levi's denim coat, and an Indy ball cap for the cheap pop. It was like being entombed in a redneck denim casket!
Meera Katz: Boy, I just....I mean, why are you here? You don't have a match. I'm a bit surprised to see you, after that L you just took. You didn't run home like you reality stars do?
VIP: I don't appreciate the tone, Meera, but look. No one told me wrestling was gonna be easy. I got into this expecting the scrapes, bruises, and fractured egos. In fact I relish it. I'm here for the long haul, as long as The Movement will have me, I'll be here having The Movement's back.
Meera: God you're so cheesy. And that outfit, boy I got a hundred different zingers to drop on you right now --
VIP: Later, later, I didn't come here for that. By now, everyone on this planet has seen Legendary sixteen. A few have been talking about, as you were so nice to allude to, my L. But I don't see it that way. Y'see, Tiffany Page didn't truly win. She cheated and broke a rule.
Ruby: It's true, Tiffany Page did pin Vance with her feet all over the ropes. Where do we find such blind officials anyway?
Meera: So you came all this way to cry? Boy, get outta here with yo -
VIP: Notsofast, Meera. See, I have right here, in my back pocket.
Vance reaches behind him and pulls out a little paperback book. It was probably around a hundred-twenty pages or so.
VIP: This here, is the Official™ "Professional Wrestling Rulebook", and it says right here, on page seven, and I quote VIP does air quotes, "One shall not utilize any part of the ring, it's construction, or either wrestler's gear, in the act of a current pinfall or submission attempt. Doing so constitutes an unfair advantage due to leverage, and the pinfall or submission shall be counted null and void".
Marci: Did this guy REALLY just bring out an actual rulebook?!
Ruby: Is he wrong, though?
VIP: So, according to this, for all the postering Tiffany has done, it's really for nothing, according to the laws of professional wrestling. See, I have it right here -
Meera Katz: Yo, can I snatch that book for a sec?
VIP nods and hands the Official™ Professional Wrestling Rulebook to Meera, who swiftly, bluntly, smacks VIP across the back of his head with it!
Meera Katz: Dummy! What's yo book say about that?
VIP: while rubbing his head Ouch! What'd you do that for? I just wanted to show that I've taken this business seriously, and have been familiarizing myself with all the rules and regulations of this sport...
Meera rolls her eyes just as Tiffany walks into frame...with Bianca Davis following closely.
Bianca Davis: Look at this basic making all the typical excuses? I mean you even brought a whole rulebook? What are you the teacher's pet or some nerd who was locked in their parents basement for years?
Bianca, and Tiffany share a laugh high fiving each other, as Bianca goes on.
Bianca Davis: Like, for real we saw what happened TIffany pinned you honey. You can hush about these so called rules violations. Because, if you look in the record book what matters it just says Tiffany Lynn Page the winner and the so called “VIP” the loser. Welcome to the wrestling business.
Bianca lets out a catty giggle joined in on by Tiffany, as Bianca keeps a hand on her hip in obvious annoyance.
Bianca Davis: I mean that hit to the head with that book still won’t free up any brain cells in that thick skull of yours. But, maybe you can always get another lesson in how things work around here sooner rather than later.
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn Page: Don’t waste your breath, B. This “Very Insignificant Peasant” is one of those kinds of guys who will cry and throw a temper tantrum because something didn't go his way. He was probably bottle fed till he was a teenager. We’ve seen him for the last two weeks refusing to the whole world that he didn’t lose. Honestly, dude, you just look more pathetic than you already do.
VIP: Look, Tiff, if you're really so confident that you "beat" me, all I'm asking for is a shot. Heads up, even stevens, one to one, face to face. One more match where the winner is determined by actually being able to wrestle better, and not by some cheap tactic like the last match. And if I can't do so...then I will come out on the following Glory, in front of all of the
VIP takes a step back, then slowly points at Tiffany, Meera, and around her, finishing on the general area where the crowd would be seated.
VIP: ...you, you, you...
Marci: Oh god here it comes.
VIP: ...YOUNIVERSE;
Marci: ...I think I'm gonna be sick...
VIP: and admit to them all that I was wrong, and my place is on the same side of the barricade as them, rather than in this very ring.
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn Page: HAHAHAHA! “YOUNIVERSE!” What was that? You are well on your way to forty year old virgin status, little buddy.
Bianca Davis: Ew! So disgusting!
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn: If you need me to perform another five star wrestling clinic against you, that’s fine. Because it is people like you, that wretched shrew, Coda, that need to be put in their place. I’ve seen you trash talking this fine lady standing next to me as well as Justice Cross. When I beat you again you will come out in front of this idiotic universe to admit you were wrong about not only me but Bianca and Justice, also.
Tiffany turns to walk away.
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn Page: Oh yes, one more thing.
Bianca pushes VIP back and he collides with Damon Xalvador, who stops VIP from falling to the ground and gives the girls an evil glare. Bianca and Tiffany quickly backaway as Damon and VIP stand side by side.
Marci: What in the world are we looking at?
Ruby: I'd say it looks like VIP has a friend in this company after all...or at least someone with a shared interest…..
VIP catches himself against Damon in time to watch the girls backing away.
VIP: Awww, what's the matter? Don't like your odds when the numbers are even? See you in Moscow, at Legendary Seventeen! No excuses, no lame tricks! Just you, and me, One More Match!
Meera Katz: Folks I'm here with...checks notes oh lordy, this guy again --
"Hey Meera, long time no see!"
To the left the camera pans to catch none other than Vance Isaac Parker, VIP. As a contrast to his Legendary appearance, tonight he was clad in jeans, a Levi's denim coat, and an Indy ball cap for the cheap pop. It was like being entombed in a redneck denim casket!
Meera Katz: Boy, I just....I mean, why are you here? You don't have a match. I'm a bit surprised to see you, after that L you just took. You didn't run home like you reality stars do?
VIP: I don't appreciate the tone, Meera, but look. No one told me wrestling was gonna be easy. I got into this expecting the scrapes, bruises, and fractured egos. In fact I relish it. I'm here for the long haul, as long as The Movement will have me, I'll be here having The Movement's back.
Meera: God you're so cheesy. And that outfit, boy I got a hundred different zingers to drop on you right now --
VIP: Later, later, I didn't come here for that. By now, everyone on this planet has seen Legendary sixteen. A few have been talking about, as you were so nice to allude to, my L. But I don't see it that way. Y'see, Tiffany Page didn't truly win. She cheated and broke a rule.
Ruby: It's true, Tiffany Page did pin Vance with her feet all over the ropes. Where do we find such blind officials anyway?
Meera: So you came all this way to cry? Boy, get outta here with yo -
VIP: Notsofast, Meera. See, I have right here, in my back pocket.
Vance reaches behind him and pulls out a little paperback book. It was probably around a hundred-twenty pages or so.
VIP: This here, is the Official™ "Professional Wrestling Rulebook", and it says right here, on page seven, and I quote VIP does air quotes, "One shall not utilize any part of the ring, it's construction, or either wrestler's gear, in the act of a current pinfall or submission attempt. Doing so constitutes an unfair advantage due to leverage, and the pinfall or submission shall be counted null and void".
Marci: Did this guy REALLY just bring out an actual rulebook?!
Ruby: Is he wrong, though?
VIP: So, according to this, for all the postering Tiffany has done, it's really for nothing, according to the laws of professional wrestling. See, I have it right here -
Meera Katz: Yo, can I snatch that book for a sec?
VIP nods and hands the Official™ Professional Wrestling Rulebook to Meera, who swiftly, bluntly, smacks VIP across the back of his head with it!
Meera Katz: Dummy! What's yo book say about that?
VIP: while rubbing his head Ouch! What'd you do that for? I just wanted to show that I've taken this business seriously, and have been familiarizing myself with all the rules and regulations of this sport...
Meera rolls her eyes just as Tiffany walks into frame...with Bianca Davis following closely.
Bianca Davis: Look at this basic making all the typical excuses? I mean you even brought a whole rulebook? What are you the teacher's pet or some nerd who was locked in their parents basement for years?
Bianca, and Tiffany share a laugh high fiving each other, as Bianca goes on.
Bianca Davis: Like, for real we saw what happened TIffany pinned you honey. You can hush about these so called rules violations. Because, if you look in the record book what matters it just says Tiffany Lynn Page the winner and the so called “VIP” the loser. Welcome to the wrestling business.
Bianca lets out a catty giggle joined in on by Tiffany, as Bianca keeps a hand on her hip in obvious annoyance.
Bianca Davis: I mean that hit to the head with that book still won’t free up any brain cells in that thick skull of yours. But, maybe you can always get another lesson in how things work around here sooner rather than later.
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn Page: Don’t waste your breath, B. This “Very Insignificant Peasant” is one of those kinds of guys who will cry and throw a temper tantrum because something didn't go his way. He was probably bottle fed till he was a teenager. We’ve seen him for the last two weeks refusing to the whole world that he didn’t lose. Honestly, dude, you just look more pathetic than you already do.
VIP: Look, Tiff, if you're really so confident that you "beat" me, all I'm asking for is a shot. Heads up, even stevens, one to one, face to face. One more match where the winner is determined by actually being able to wrestle better, and not by some cheap tactic like the last match. And if I can't do so...then I will come out on the following Glory, in front of all of the
VIP takes a step back, then slowly points at Tiffany, Meera, and around her, finishing on the general area where the crowd would be seated.
VIP: ...you, you, you...
Marci: Oh god here it comes.
VIP: ...YOUNIVERSE;
Marci: ...I think I'm gonna be sick...
VIP: and admit to them all that I was wrong, and my place is on the same side of the barricade as them, rather than in this very ring.
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn Page: HAHAHAHA! “YOUNIVERSE!” What was that? You are well on your way to forty year old virgin status, little buddy.
Bianca Davis: Ew! So disgusting!
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn: If you need me to perform another five star wrestling clinic against you, that’s fine. Because it is people like you, that wretched shrew, Coda, that need to be put in their place. I’ve seen you trash talking this fine lady standing next to me as well as Justice Cross. When I beat you again you will come out in front of this idiotic universe to admit you were wrong about not only me but Bianca and Justice, also.
Tiffany turns to walk away.
“Too Sexy” Tiffany Lynn Page: Oh yes, one more thing.
Bianca pushes VIP back and he collides with Damon Xalvador, who stops VIP from falling to the ground and gives the girls an evil glare. Bianca and Tiffany quickly backaway as Damon and VIP stand side by side.
Marci: What in the world are we looking at?
Ruby: I'd say it looks like VIP has a friend in this company after all...or at least someone with a shared interest…..
VIP catches himself against Damon in time to watch the girls backing away.
VIP: Awww, what's the matter? Don't like your odds when the numbers are even? See you in Moscow, at Legendary Seventeen! No excuses, no lame tricks! Just you, and me, One More Match!