Epic #5 August 11, 2021

[Legal Department]

One Wrestle Movement
In Association With
Iconic Sports Media

Present

Live from the Ross Kelley Rodeo Arena in Pasadena, Texas

The Epic broadcast starts on Splat’s streaming service with boisterous cheers from two thousand nine hundred sixty-seven excited 1WM fans eager to watch tonight’s show! Most of them are seated in the bleachers wrapped around the unique rodeo arena while some are in chairs closer to the guardrail. Some have handmade signs praising their favorites with phrases such as “Eat. Sleep. Terminate. Repeat.” and “Unbreakable Victory, Victoria Salinas!” The hexagonal circle is surrounded by orange-brown dirt smoothed out with tractor tracks as the camera pans around towards the window atop the stage where the announcer’s booth oversees it all.

Spazz: Welcome to the most Epic of Epic shows to ever be called Epic… EPIC 5!!!! We’re three shows away from an even more Epic, EPIC: OVER BUDGET, where we get outta’ this dirty ol’ Rodeo and go somewhere a lil’ more high class!

Vance Issac Parker: Epic number five, so do we take one step left and one step right, then one to the front, and one to the side?

Spazz: Everybody loves Mambo n’ shit.

Vance Isaac Parker: Anyway, let’s run down the card this evening!

Spazz: This show sees us opening up with a little Fatal Fourway action with Greta Nyx, LEERRRROOOOOOOOOY JJJEEENNNNKKKIINNNS-

Vance Isaac Parker: ……..REALLY?

Spazz: Nah, just some dude name Leroy Marks, 3 Card Monty, and Faye Lange dukin’ it out. After that a No DQ with La Capa and Devil Dog looking to beat the ever-loving hell out of each other in the truest of wrestling fashions, and lastly?

Vance Isaac Parker: The official in-ring debut of 3 Card Monty, even. And I can think of one person who may have a vested interest in that...unlucky for him, as he’s also got veterans Greta Nyx and Faye Lange to contend with. Best of luck, Monty...hope this was the place you wanted to land.

Spazz: You best believe it’s stacked! Two veteran talents in Ursula Von Rossbach and Victoria Salinas but in the purest of pures, a Pure Rules match. I never cared for those ‘cause I like my wrestling dirty, but if anyone’s gonna’ make pure rules shine? It’ll be those two. Vicky’s been a world champ so many times over, and Ursula is just the scariest bitch in the land. Rock, meet hard place!

Vance Isaac Parker: But first, that music is awfully familiar. Let’s cut to ringside and see if my suspicions are correct…..

“Light A Fire” by Nutz in a Blender begins to play over the crackling PA system and out walks Justice Cross herself! She immediately walks down to the ring instead of doing her normal waving to the fans and bending down, then back up with her hands in the form of the shocker pose. Hearing the mixed reaction she gets from the fans, she walks up the steel steps to the apron, and once on it, she steps through. Going over to the opposite end of the ring, she tells them to get her a mic, and they bring it to her. Justice then takes that mic and begins to pace the ring for a bit before stopping and holding the mic to her lips. Again, hearing the fans’ mixed reactions of boos and anger, she held the mic down before putting it back near her mouth to speak.

Justice Cross: As I sat at home the past eleven days, I had the opportunity to think about how I have been letting my actions do my talking for me. I’ve also spent those past eleven days watching tape after tape, promo after promo, match after match, only to realize that it’s true what I have been reading lately. So tonight I’d like to talk to you about those things. You see, first of all, I read about how I should pack my bags and go back home because some of you in those seats, and some of you in the back, don’t think I deserve to be here in One Wrestle Movement. You think I don’t belong here, but I was born into this business and have been doing this since I was sixteen years old. Over the past eighteen years, I have put my blood, sweat, and tears into this business by coming out to a ring and giving all of you what you wanted. But that just isn’t enough for all of you, is it?

Pacing inside the ring now she lowered the mic before stopping glaring at some boys who were in their late teens calling out to her. Hearing one of them yelling at her about the name Morgan she put that mic back up to her mouth.

Justice Cross: Look, I get it. I’ve done some pretty shitty stuff to some really great people that work here. I helped Brie attack Rei, and in the end, I was the one who made her eat the floor. I attacked Coda, making her eat the floor as well. And then there was the time I called my dear friend Arley a crackhead when she was going through a really rough time. I mean, I should have been more supportive of her in her situation then, and honestly, I deserved the hate that I got for that. I can’t and won’t apologize because anything that I have said or done can’t be fixed with the words “I’m sorry.” I have to prove to all of you in those seats as well as all of you in the back that I mean what I say, and to do that, I’m about to drop the biggest bombshell announcement that I have ever had to do.

Vance Isaac Parker: Are we going to need to call her The Gap Band now? Y’know, cause she dropped a bomb on….nevermind. Let’s continue on.

Spazz: Let’s hear it.

Justice Cross: But before I make it, I have to tell you that I thought about it for eleven days and how no one but one person cared to contact me and talk to me about things. That was Lash and he didn’t judge me either. He listened to what I had to say then gave me some really good advice over the phone. And now, after these past eleven days, I know where all my trouble started.

Pacing around the inside of the ring, she slowly comes to a stop. She went to speak but held the mic down, listening to the fans once more before putting it back up to her mouth.

Justice Cross: This morning, there was an emergency meeting between myself and the One Wrestle Movement CEO Cedric Southern. During this meeting, it came to my attention that my contract with 1WM was only good for a year and that I have been working without one. So I was offered a new contract, and before I signed this contract, I asked if I could make an announcement tonight, which he agreed to let me do. I told him that this new contract would be a fresh new start and new beginnings for me as I was going back to the basics, if you will. But to do that, I had to make a very hard decision about something this morning as well. I thought about how in the beginning, Joshua Samson had been good to me. And then I thought about how the reason was only because one of his clients was my husband. Then I thought about how he was good to me after I signed a contract with him to have him become my executive representative. And the more and more that I thought about things at home the past eleven days, the more and more how I thought about how my executive representative should not have spoken in the tone NOR manner that Joshua Samson has spoken to me as of late. I thought about how he made the statement that I had my chance at the Pride of 1WM belt but blew it. I thought about how he said we were beyond talking to each other. That’s fine Joshua, we don’t have to talk, but you’re damn sure going to listen to what I have to say.

Expecting to be interrupted, she paused for a moment. Then, when she realized that no one was going to interrupt her, she shook her head in disappointment.

Spazz: She lookin’ like she expects someone to come out and start shit, yo.

Vance Isaac Parker: Unless she’s waiting for Bianca, Samson...

Justice Cross: You know my troubles all started when I hired Joshua Samson to be my executive representative. And he represented me well until recently, but you’d think his little bleach blonde client Bianca Davis would have come out here to stop me from what I am about to do. But then again, even if she did come out here, there is nothing she could do or say to stop this next statement of mine.

Vance Isaac Parker: Why though? He can fight his own battles, if that’s truly his desire.

Spazz: Bianca’s a rich bitch who ain’t got time for nobody under three fiddy and six figures, so hell if I know.

Justice Cross: Joshua Samson, I lied to you. I told you I wasn’t going to do what I wanted to, but I am. Therefore Joshua Samson… your services as my executive representative are no longer needed.

Vance Isaac Parker: Like the courtroom, choosing to fire your representation is a big deal! One doesn’t just make these calls on a whim, this is clearly something that’s been building for quite some time...

Spazz: About damn time she cut the chain and drop that boat anchor into the deepest part of the fuckin’ ocean!

Justice Cross: In fact, not only are they no longer needed, but I signed with a new representative this morning after meeting with Cedric. And well, quite frankly, as hard as I try, this new representative won’t throw my failures in my face. This representative that I signed with won’t make me feel degraded or weak by telling me things like I blew my chance for the Pride of !WM belt, because that’s what it is, sweetheart. It’s a belt, not a title. You got me things, Joshua and I am not discounting you on that, but I think you forgot one of the cardinal rules of this business. Respect isn’t given. It’s earned. And things have to be earned. Therefore from here on out, I will be working with my new representative to EARN the things I deserve, such as title shots. Oh, and Joshua, if you want to know who my new representative is, you’ll have to wait until Glory. As will the rest of you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some… business… to attend to with my representative.

Vance Isaac Parker: The question remains, is this Justice two point oh? Or is this Neo-Justice, same as the old Justice? What’s her game plan here?

Spazz: I’ll believe it when I see it. Ursula Von Rossbach calls her flip-flop for a reason, but enough on that. We got bodies that are lookin’ to get broken up in here! FATAL FOURWAY IS UP NEXT!!!

Fatal Fourway Match
Greta Nyx
versus
Leroy Marks
versus
3 Card Monty
versus
Faye Lange

DING DING DING!!!

The four of them start in their corners like caged animals, then unleash at full speed at their chosen targets with ferocity! First, the second-generation Kali Kartel member Greta Nyx focuses on the no-nonsense globetrotter Leroy Marks. Meanwhile, the destitute daredevil 3 Card Monty faces off against southpaw striker Faye Lange. Leroy gains an advantage in a brawl with Greta near the ropes. Next, 3 Card Monty chain grapples with the redheaded rookie. Headlock. He whips Faye towards the ropes, then darts her down to the mat with an old-school spinebuster. A few feet away, Leroy catches Nyx on the ropes. Clothesline. Wait, dodge! An inverted DDT from Greta knocks Leroy down to Leroy’s back by Greta, followed by a picture-perfect standing moonsault that pops the crowd. Then, Faye’s caught in 3CM’s single-leg crab while Wilfred Garrett shouts insults at his client to put his whole body weight into it from ringside. Wrenching Lange’s leg back, 3CM grimaces while Faye screams.

Faye scratches and claws at the mat, pulling herself forward with heart alone. The audience wills her forward, cheering for her to make the rope break ‘til the dastardly Monty pulls her back to the middle of the ring. Boos rain down on the Gambling Man, who flexes Lange’s knee past the 90-degree angle. Then, unexpectedly, the horde of fans in the Rodeo starts to cheer again. Greta Nyx runs at Monty, hitting her single-leg high knee straight towards the high roller’s skull!

Vance Isaac Parker: Greta calls that the Blood Moon. Faye may have caved to the pressure of 3 Card Monty had Greta not been there to save the day. Oh, a cover by Greta!

Greta Nyx drops and hooks Monty’s leg.

ONE
TWO
THR~

Leroy Marks breaks the pin with a second-rope springboard moonsault, then tries to scurry to pin Monty himself!

Vance Isaac Parker: Leroy with the save! And the steal with a cover and a deep hook of the far leg himself!

ONE
TWO~

Vance Isaac Parker: You gotta think that Blood Moon would’ve been all she wrote for Monty, had he not had that breather between covers!

3 Card Monty clutches the back of his head in agony while Greta Nyx slowly climbs to her feet along with Faye Lange nearby. Now, the two give each other a friendly nod.

Vance Isaac Parker: Faye and Greta working together? Can she really trust a member of the Kali Kartel?!

Simultaneously, Faye Lange catches a rising Leroy Marks in a katahajime judo chokehold while Greta Nyx locks in an omoplata crossface on 3 Card Monty.

Vance Isaac Parker: Submission work, IN STEREO! But who wins if they tap?

Leroy and Monty fight back, showing their resolve by surviving their submissions for a relatively long time until the submission holds become too much for them. Both Monty and Leroy tap, though it’s initially unclear who surrendered first.

DING DING DING!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: Ohmygosh, it looks like Leroy tapped out first!

Spazz: There! My mic’s back on! The thing up and died on me! 3CM tapped yo! I saw it!

Confusion hangs in the air for a while until the referee finally tells the ring announcer, Jacquie, his final decision.

Jacquie Lacroix: The winner of this match… by submission…

Vance Isaac Parker: C’mon Faye, you got this, pull it off...

Jacquie Lacroix: Greta Nyx!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: ...is it socially acceptable to demand a recount, or is that hitting the ball a little close to home?

The crowd has a mixed reaction for the winner because of her allegiances with Kali Kartel, but most cheer Greta’s hard work as she celebrates happily in the corner. Then, Greta helps Faye Lange up to her feet and shows her respect by raising her arm.

Vance Isaac Parker: You love to see the sportsmanship though, win, lose, or draw.

The good times come to a close when 1WM newcomers Victoria McKenzie & Harmony Sparkles, an upstart team known as Totally Extra, slide in behind them. The crowd reaction shifts, urging Faye and Greta to turn around slowly.

Vance Isaac Parker: WHAT IN TARNATION?! A three-hundred sixty degree flipping piledriver!

Spazz: Well… Now I can says I seen it all.

After Harmony hit Greta Nyx with a Canadian destroyer, Victoria doubles Faye over with a kick to the gut, then spike piledrives Lange into the mat! What’s happening right now?! Finally, Harmony Sparkles pulls Faye’s downed body to stack her over Greta’s prone body near the corner. That allows the 285-pound Victoria McKenzie to hit a devastating assisted slingshot body splash onto both women with Harmony pushing Victoria down in mid-air for a little added oomph! It leaves the Rodeo’s crowd almost speechless! Both of them taunt the audience with their fingers and thumbs in the shape of an “L” on their foreheads, then let out catty laughs while they make their exit.

Vance Isaac Parker: Ohmygosh, I thought Mean Girls was already played out. What the frack………..

Spazz: You know, one of these days some chick’s gonna’ do that L hand thing and get their hand stuck to their forehead like that.

Vance Isaac Parker: I’m getting word our correspondent Dae-Hyun Lee is backstage with Driller Jaworski, let’s go take a listen. Lee?

Dae-hyun Lee: Driller Jaworski, you and Don Tirri were going back and forth on Twitter last week about a possible rematch between you two, this time for the Glory Championship. Tirri implied that you don’t really deserve a shot at the title. Do you believe you deserve it?

Driller stops to think a second before answering the question.

Driller Jaworski: You know, when I first came into 1WM, my objective was to drop as many people on their heads as possible, and with one exception, I’ve done just that; but now, I’ve got a new objective. You see, Don Tirri has proven to be so arrogant and so full of his own shit that nothing would make me happier than taking the Glory Championship away from him. I said it on Twitter and I’m going to say it here right now on camera: if I hadn’t have gotten arrested, maybe I would have had the spot in the Glory Championship tournament that went to Don Tirri. Maybe I would have won the title, and maybe Don Tirri would be chasing me for it; and that’s not to say that Tirri didn’t earn the title. He beat everybody he had to beat in the tournament and he earned the belt, but the fact is, he didn’t even have a win-loss record in 1WM before that tournament. He just signed a contract and got a spot. And I know he’s going to come back with his bullshit about being in the business 25 years and that being the reason why he automatically got put in the tournament, but like he told me on Twitter, in 1WM, it’s all about amassing wins in order to get a title shot. How many wins did he amass in 1WM before getting into that tournament?

Dae-hyun Lee: Um, none.

Driller Jaworski: None. That’s right. I at least had a win under my belt before I got arrested. But you know what? The past is in the past. What’s done is done. Tirri is the champion, and if Cedric Southern doesn’t believe that I deserve a shot at the Glory Championship, then I’ll do whatever it takes to become the #1 contender for that title. I understand that Tirri has already beaten me by disqualification and why that goes against my argument for a title shot, so if I have to beat 20 more people, I’ll do it. If I have to go through two more flaming tables, I’ll do it. If I have to drop myself on my OWN head, I’ll do it. Whatever it is that I need to do to get into that ring and take the Glory Championship away from Don Tirri, I’ll do it, because he is a self-righteous phony who likes to pass himself off as some great, elder statesmen of professional wrestling, and I’m sick of him. Taking that prized possession away from him will give me more joy than anybody could ever understand. And Tirri, even 1WM does not deem me fit to fight for the Glory Championship, it doesn’t matter. I’ll still find you and I’ll still drop you on your head…because that’s what I do.

Vance Isaac Parker: Now waitaminute, you got arrested and may have cost this company some valuable PR with your drunken hijinks, so of course you go to the back of the li -- oh hey, wait, what is Griffin Hawkins doing in the EPIC Zone?

Griffin Hawkins suddenly pops up on camera and gets in Driller’s face.

Driller Jaworski: What the hell do you want?

Griffin Hawkins: You’ve got a lot to say about Don Tirri, but let me give you some advice. Don’t worry about people who aren’t here. Worry about people who ARE here.

Driller leans in closer to Griffin.

Driller Jaworski: Are you suggesting that I should worry about you?

Griffin Hawkins: You’re damn right. You and I have some of our own unfinished business, and I think you should worry about that before you worry about Tirri and the Glory Championship.

Driller Jaworski: You want to settle this right now?

Griffin Hawkins: Anytime, anyplace!

Driller shoves Griffin. Griffin goes after Driller, but officials arrive to hold him and Driller back. They’re dragged off-camera, screaming at each other.

Spazz: Oh yeah, here we fuckin’ go son!

Vance Isaac Parker: It’s go time.

Spazz: Theys need to beat each other to a pulp! Maybe Griff’ll slap the beard off of Driller!

Vance Isaac Parker: We’ve got to go to commercials, but first, have you ever thought about what it would be like to live in a video game? Arriving in theaters August thirteenth, it’s Free Guy, the movie about a real life joe that goes to work, and comes home every day and does the same thing...UNTIL ONE DAY, HE DOESN’T! If you’re a fan of Grand Theft Auto, or movies that may or may not be based at least loosely on real events, then do we have a treat for you! Catch Free Guy, in theaters on the thirteenth, and not just because it sponsors us, but because everyone needs a video game moment in life. Check out this preview and see for yourself, why Free Guy is the next biggest box office sensation after Space Jam 2: A New Legacy! Roll it!

Spazz: AAAAND we’re back with words from Janica Jayden and…. Is that the Texas Two-Step she’s doing?


Backstage, we see Janica Jayden doing a bit of a Texas Two-Step who wickedly smirked as she stopped and addressed the crowd.

Janica Jayden: You girls thought you were clever, bashing my legs in to make that fight... You didn't think management would intervene for the fairest match, did you? But that was always your narrow visioned mentality, Viola…

She said before getting closer to address her.

Janica Jayden: You're like a bratty child that had never heard the word no before. Throwing your toys out of the crib the moment they don't entertain you anymore... I almost feel bad for your goons. Because once I break them... you'll toss them out as well. So, Camila, I hope you get far away from that manipulative bitch after I beat you. It will be the best decision of your life.

After Janica’s done, the camera cuts to the announcer’s booth.

Spazz: Janica speakin’ her truth, but I gotta’ ask, you think La Capa’s dumb enough to cross Camilla off her friend’s list? She’s the enforcer for a reason!

Vance Isaac Parker: What exactly are we witnessing here?

Spazz: I don’t know, I was just kinda’ talking out my ass ‘cause otherwise it’s dead air yo!

No Disqualification Match
"La Capa" Viola Mancini
versus
"Devil Dog" Chase Evans

DING DING DING!!!

The match starts one-on-one, neither Teddy Morse, Camilla Morricone, or Isabella Terranono at ringside at the start of this contest. Chase Evans throws a punch, but the Mafia Mogul answers with a punch of her own, followed by a chop. Chase Evans’ slugging style favors brutality, pressuring Viola back against the ropes while Mancini embodies arrogant elegance when she tries to keep a wide gap between the two fighters.

“The Devil Dog” Chase Evans towers over the Maniacal Maiden, but Mancini uses that to her advantage by keeping up the pace, dodging with a defensive stance, and trying to wear out her opponent by picking her spots. She pokes him in the eye, stomps on his foot, and claims that the Mancino Syndicate is right behind him!

Spazz: That old duck and weave with an eye jab and a foot stomp followed by the “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” technique

Vance Isaac Parker: I see some people have little patience for the rules of engagement...

After a while, Chase Irish whips Viola to the outside, watching her tumble to the dirt floor surrounding the ring right before climbing out of the ring himself. Grabbing Viola with intensity in his eyes, he looks at the apron and back at his opponent. Readying a swinging sidewalk slam into the hardest part of the ring, he’s suddenly caught by surprise when Isabella Terranono pokes out from under the apron’s skirt to choke him with a piece of fiber wire! Viola breaks free when Chase hunches forward, followed by a vicious Concrete Stiletto running curb stomp right to the back of his head!

Spazz: SPIKED LIKE A MOFUGGA! 7 inches of pain stabbing right into the back of that skull!

Vance Isaac Parker: Oomph, c’mon guy, don’t let yourself get punked out like that...

Teddy Morse runs out to defend his partner who’s face collides with the solidly packed dirt at ringside, then Camilla Morricone follows him out through the aisle. In a two-on-one fight, Teddy fends off the two mafia women for a while. Punch! Punch! Camilla! Isabella! Camilla! Isabella! Back and forth, back and forth the punches fly while Viola slowly pushes Chase back into the ring.

Spazz: A seesaw of pain as they go back and forth! Viola getting Chase back into the ring.

Vance Isaac Parker: This is not going the way he needs it to go.

Teddy Morse: Judy Ch—!

Before he can hit the final strike, Camilla hits Morse with a delayed flapjack while Isabella hits him with an elevated DDT at the same time! It’s what the Mancini Syndicate call a Code of Silence into the dirt, while Chase Evans slowly climbs back to his feet until—

Spazz: Teddy is NOT having a good night tonight! Code of Silence and Oh fuck another Concrete Stilletto to the head! Chase got chased right into unconsciousness!

Vance Isaac Parker: Stick a fork in him, he’s done. He’s not getting up from that.

ONE
TWO
THREE!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: And look at his glazed over eyes rolling to the back of his head. Geez. But, being part of the Syndicate, I can’t really approve...

Jacquie Lacroix: The winner of this match… by pinfall… "La Capa" Viola Mancini.

Vance Isaac Parker: What a match. And y’know what I like to do after a match?

Vance reaches under the announce table and produces a plastic bottle which he carefully and deliberately places on the table with the hard cam getting a very clear shot of the label.

Vance Isaac Parker: Mountain Dew Zero, mmm, when I’m working out to the max and burning those calories in a hot, fast One Dub match, all I can think about is cooling off with a nice refreshing Mountain Dew Zero. It’s got all the great Mountain Dew taste you love, without all the pesky sugars and carbs you hate!

Vance unscrews the cap and tilts the bottle up to his lips, then places it back down on the table, again conveniently placed for the hard cam to see.

Vance Isaac Parker: Ahh, Mountain Dew Zero. What a refreshing experience. But don’t take my word for it, let’s roll the footage and you can see for yourself!

Spazz just shakes his head and takes a hit off his blunt.

Spazz: You’re such a shill dog.

Vance Isaac Parker: Shills pay the bills.

The feed on the big screen on the stage cuts, and now the estate of the Queen B of Malibu, and new Pride of 1WM Champion Bianca Davis can be seen. The haughty blonde is sitting in a comfy leather chair, sipping on a glass of champagne. The fans greet her image with loud boos, but she just rolls her eyes. Her Pride of 1WM title is sitting right on her shoulder. She then smirks proudly as she took a quick selfie with her title, as she looks and says.

Bianca Davis: Oh my god, this is gonna blow up on Instagram, and yes, it is I your heart, soul, and Pride of 1WM, The Queen B Bianca Davis live from my lovely estate in Malibu, California what you thought for one second I would show up to some barnyard?

The fans boo loudly at her as she scoffs, giving them a dismissive wave of her well-manicured hand.

Bianca Davis: Whatever, no one cares what about a bunch of country hicks like you think anyways. As Pride and the Champion I am, I was watching the show to see if anyone could impress me and earn a shot at this lovely piece of gold on my shoulder. You see, you can call me a brat, entitled, a bitch, or whatever words you want to use, but you have to call me champion after I beat Rei Park, something no one thought would happen besides me, and a few others but I am a visionary. It was hard-fought, and she certainly put up a fight, but I pinned her in the middle of that ring. One, two, and three. I mean, I know you can all count to three, can you? But something caught my attention, and that was the woman who I had spent the better part of the last three to four months helping to make a star, Justice Cross.

The fans cheer at the mention of her name as Bianca scoffs and rolls her eyes. As The Queen B finishes off her drink, the blonde Malibu native snaps her fingers rudely. A staff member comes across.

Bianca Davis: I am gonna need something a bit stronger. Can you get me a mojito? Make sure it’s made properly. Don’t want what happened to the last person who failed to make my drink happen to you, do you?

The staff member runs and fetches Bianca’s mojito as Queen B turns her attention to the camera.

Bianca Davis: Justice, you know I thought you had some sense. I mean, you were doing really good. You had things going the right way in your career. Once, you were taking my advice. You had just beaten that disgusting oaf Molly in the center of the ring, in the main event of the first Epic. Not only that, but you were on the fast track back to success but then what happens? You let morons like pug face Brie, the hideous fans, and all of this “earning” stuff get to you. You abandoned the lessons, and that is why you didn’t become Pride of 1WM Champion. It wasn’t because of me or Joshua. It was because of you! This is what I told Josh would happen when asked me to please help you as Josh doesn’t like losing money on his investments. So being as kind as I am, I said yes.

The staff member comes back and hands Bianca her mojito. Queen B takes a sip as she eyes the staff member.

Bianca Davis: Can you like, leave my spotlight? No one pays to see the help.

Bianca rolls her eyes as he leaves, as she turns her attention to the camera speaking in the same smug tone as before.

Bianca Davis: You see, Justice, you could have had it all really, you could have been hanging with me under the Hollywood lights, you could have been a star. But now, I know that the time we spent was a waste. I mean, don’t worry, Josh will address it on his end in due time, and you’re not gonna like the repercussions, I assure you of that. But you want to run your mouth about me, call me all of these nasty names after coming to me and asking me to be nice and talk to Josh for you. Like how low can you go seriously? And to lie to his and my face? I mean, I was nice enough to take you shopping in Beverly Hills. I was nice enough to employ your husband.

Bianca said, her anger starting to grow more as her face turned red. The normally smug and confident Queen B was replaced by an angry-looking one.

Bianca Davis: But whoever this new person is, is now going to try and save your career because that is what they are gonna have to do. Save it. The only reason he told you that you blew your chance is because you did just that Justice, you blew every single chance. You need to look only at yourself for what you haven’t done. Take a look because I am always on that Queen shit.

Bianca does a bitchy wave and blows a smug kiss toward the camera as the fans boo loudly and the feed cuts.

Spazz: Biiiiianca is a BEEEEEEEEIIIIIOOOTTCHA!!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: Bianca Davis, everyone. Somehow, we’re supposed to acknowledge her as a champion. Yeah, I don’t much like it either.


Cutting back to ringside, we find Molly Hatchet standing in the ring with her Hatchet Clan banner resting on her shoulder, microphone in hand. She wears the black and green of her clan colors proudly, but through it all, everyone can see the purple ring lingering under her left eye, left by 3 Card Monty’s roaring elbow attack not too very long ago.

Molly O’Hatherine: I’ve come to realize something the last few weeks workin’ here on Epic. This house is not Glory or Legendary. It’s dirty, with a thick layer of grit and a raw feel to it. There’s no polish or high production values. The lights above us? Hand me downs from Glory after a set dressing upgrade. This ring? A spare in some forsaken warehouse out there.

She paces the wrestling ring, looking at the crowd around her for a moment.

Molly O’Hatherine: Even this woman standing in the ring… Someone that others see no value in because I’m not “stand out” enough in the eyes of tha’ powers that be. I’m seen as more of a problem than I’m worth, ignored by those less than me because they find me offensive and threatenin’ yeah.

Molly places her flag in the corner, leaning inside the pipe as she removes her vest, draping it on the corner. She turns her back to the crowd, looking to the entrance arch.

Molly O’Hatherinet: Take a good look at this back….

Her top is held together by crossed straps on the back that leave much of the skin there exposed. As the camera moves in, getting a good look at her toned back and shoulder muscles, we see several line scars across her pale flesh, highlighted by the freckles they break up in haphazard fashion. One can see a road map of pain upon her skin in this instance.

Molly O’Hatherine: ….Me career was built by these scars. I have others, but these are tha’ most visible ones I have. The rest are much more subtle, or in places I cannae’ show on television.

She turns back around to face the camera.

Molly O’Hatherine: Ye’ know what makes me different? It’s tha’ same thing I’m not allowed ta’ show on Glory or Legendary. Tha’ same thing that has an entire group of people hidin’ from me. I’m a talented wrestler who can do a great variety of things in a ring, but where I truly shine is where blood, chains, and barbed wire is involved. I’m a sweetheart out of this ring but in it? I’m bloody violent.

The Ginger Ninja points her finger down at the canvas beneath her feet for emphasis.

Molly O’Hatherine: I cut me teeth in tha’ most violent and brutal competitions ever held across seven continents. On Glory and Legendary? I feel as though I cannae’ express meself in a way I know best. I faced Don Tirri in their idea of a deathmatch, and while it was still a grueling affair, it might as well have been called a Last Person Standing Match, really. My definition of a deathmatch and theirs be wholly different.

She motions out to her side, gesticulating for further emphasis with a taped hand.

Molly O’Hatherine: I’m a trained and very capable wrestler. I donnae’ say this as a boast but as fact. I know what I can do and how far I can go in this ring. They tell me ta’ stand out but then tell me I cannae’ wrestle tha’ kinds of matches I’m known for… that I truly excel at. Here? In this dirt-covered wrestling ring, in tha’ muck with each and every one of you? I feel as if this is truly tha’ right place fer me. This is me home.

There’s a hint of moisture building in her eyes.

Molly O’Hatherine: You’d laugh, but when Monty clapped me with a chair not once, but twice, it was tha’ closest I’d ever felt ta’ bein’ in me true element. Epic and I, we’ve so much in common. We’re tha’ trash that’s your treasure, whether it’s leftover ring lights and an old wrestling ring or ideas and desires that never make it because some higher power said ye’ cannae’ do somethin’ and that it’s wrong.

Molly’s fist tightens, quivering beside her as impossible to fight back tears run freely. She didn’t care. This comes from the heart.

Molly O’Hatherine: WRESTLING’S ME FUCKING ART AND PASSION!!!!!

She pounds her fist against her chest hard enough that the microphone picks up the impact.

Molly O’Hatherine: ….And to be called fake and made ta’ feel like I’m not good enough because I donnae’ fit tha’ mold of what others think wrestlin’ should be PISSES ME RIGHT THE HELL OFF!!! Sure, I can wrestle better than most of the people in this company, but because I’m too hardcore and that I would rather bleed and be bled fer me art, I’m not “stand out” enough. I’m not good enough because I cannae’ be me to tha’ absolute fullest!

Her body practically quivers as the emotions pour from her like a wellspring.

Molly O’Hatherine: This is who I am. Wrestlin’ is a form of expression as well as competition, and taking away tools from me tool set because it’s too bloody violent is wrong. Here on Epic, though? Down in the dirt with tha’ Hatchet Clan is where I truly thrive. We can be free to be who we are here, without some directive from higher up sayin’ I cannae’ have more hardcore flavor to me matches. In just a few days from now, I face Victoria Salinas one on one at the 1st Bank Arena in Denver, Colorado. She’s a veteran with many years under her belt and the resume ta’ back tha’ long tenure. It’s an honor n’ privilege ta be facin’ her. I promise that I’ll give her everythin’ I got and put on a grand match against a truly great competitor that is woefully underestimated.

Molly’s gaze pans over the crowd, making eye contact with more than a few people.

Molly O’Hatherine: But I’ll be thinkin’ of each and e’ery one of ye’ out there watchin’ this show live. I’ll also be thinkin’ about tha’ coward in tha’ back who needed a little “Extra” help earlier in the evening. THREE CARD MONTY!

The Ginger Ninja spins around to face the entrance arch, pointing a damning finger directly at those curtains.

Molly O’Hatherine: KNOW THIS YE’ COWARDLY, BACK BITIN’, HIT N’ RUN AWAY BASTARD! This black eye ye’ gave me? It’s almost healed, but I’ve a receipt comin’ fer ye. I donnae’ know why ye’ came at me tha’ other night, other than maybe ta be gettin’ some cool points with the popular kids that’re too scared ta’ do what ye’ did but at least now they’ll get an example as ta’ what happens if they dare try!

She then shoots a wicked, WICKED grin now, clapping a hand to her chest and then whipping it out to her side.

Molly O’Hatherine: And if Extra steps in to help ye? So be it. MORE BODIES FOR THA’ PYRE! I donnae’ give a fuck if it’s just you or all three of ye’ against me, but I promise ye’ that as I fall…. YOU WILL PAY, MONTY. I’ve only one suggestion… Talk to Ursula Von Rossbach about tha’ last match she and I had and ask her a single question.

Molly leans in towards a nearby camera that moves in for a close up.

Molly O’Hatherine: Ask her who won that match in Empire and then think to yerself, what hope in bloody hell do you have against me if I can beat a wrestler that bloody strong and skilled inside a professional wrestling ring.

She tosses the microphone down, arms held out at her sides, and head tilted back. She then lowers her head forward as she brings those arms back in, crossed beneath her smiling face as “Kingdom Come” by Sabaton plays over the house PA system!

Spazz: She brings up a really good point there. Molly Hatchet overcame the odds against Ursula Von Rossbach at a little place called Empire Wrestling.

Vance Isaac Parker: But that’s not One Dub. Fans, and not just our fans, but everywhere, they want to know what you can do here and now, not in the past. Wrestling fans, their attention spans are...I mean, what I’m trying to say, it’s not about what you’ve done in place at a point in time, it’s about what you’ve done right now in the present! Molly has bellowed out her emotions and her wants and that’s great...now for our fans, they want to see her collect on those promises, right here in One Wrestle Movement!

Spazz: Even beating Ursula once is a big deal dude, as we may see later tonight when Vicky Sals takes on big bad Von Rossie in our main event, but first… we got a Pine Cone Taipei Deathmatch.

Vance Isaac Parker: wait...you what mate?

Spazz: You heard me. Cherry Addams versus Lash Donohue in a winner takes all deathmatch for an infamous for all the wrong reasons Golden Pine Cone.

Vance Isaac Parker: A Pine Cone? Man, we might as well get the forklift and put someone’s mother on it at this rate. What the heck.

Spazz: I don’t book, I just talk shit about it son.

Special Guest Match
Pine Cone Taipei Deathmatch
Cherry Adams
versus
"Diamond" Lash Donohue

Lash and Cherry start to circle slowly back and forth as they fasten their wrist tape. As the announcer prepares to announce the stipulations involved in this upcoming match, several 1WM ring attendants roll into the ring, and each of them have a bucket.

Jacquie Lacroix: The following match is a barbed wire ropes TAIPEI DEATHMATCH where with taped, broken glass covered fists, the objective is to beat your opponent down by ANY MEANS NECESSARY!

Both Cherry and Lash dip their taped fists into buckets of adhesive, the crowd growing with excitement and anticipation as they then proceed to dip them into a bucket which contains broken glass and other sharp objects.

Jacquie Lacroix: This match is for...a pine cone and it is scheduled for ONE FALL!

Spazz: Can you hear the disbelief in Jacquie’s voice there?

Vance Isaac Parker: Everyone at home could feel it.


The crowd doesn't know what to do with itself as the announcer quickly holds up a badly burnt, bullet-riddled pine cone high in the air. The image flashes up on the 1Tron for the fans at home as the referee calls for the bell.

DING DING DING!!!

Donohue and Adams circle more menacingly now as the fans stomp the wooden floors of the stands and clap faster and faster. It's Cherry who takes the first wild swing at Lash who luckily sidesteps before grabbing her forearm above the wrist tape, twisting it around and trying for a hook kick, yet the space allows Cherry to jump back and avoid it.

Crowd: OHHHH!

Spazz: Lash looking to get fancy up in here, but hook kick and a miss!

Lash staggers back, his cheek immediately showing a graze as Cherry nails him with a sweet right jab. Lash growls and sidesteps a second attempt..

Crowd: OHHHHH!

Spazz: Cherry caught him good there.

Vance Isaac Parker: I think I saw him smile...that’s sick!

Lash angrily responds with a harsh European uppercut, driving Cherry backward. Lash moves in to land another, but Cherry clocks him right in the bridge of the nose with a backhand shot, Lash falling back against the ropes, a grin showing up on his face as his back collides with the barbed wire. A spray of blood from a Cherry Adams knife edge chop leaves Lash's back and chest bleeding steadily..

Spazz: Not even a full ten minutes in, and we got blood on the barbed wire!

Vance Isaac Parker: Did he just grin when he hit the barbed wire? That sonavagun is actually enjoying this, I knew it!

Cherry lets out a roar as she runs in to send Lash over the top with a cactus clothesline, yet the fans eat it up as Lash manages to grip the top rope and yank it down, causing Cherry to get snared on the barbed wire as she crashes to ringside. Lash listens to the fans as they start to chant for him, egging him on as he stomps his feet and builds speed.

Crowd: WOOOOAAAAAHHH!

Spazz: This is what you get when yous play with the barbed wire. They’re both deathmatch veterans and it’ll take a little more than losin’ skin and blood to stop these pine cone aficionados!

Vance Isaac Parker: This is really over a pine cone, though. Really.

Spazz: Yes. Some kinda’ principle bullshit, I don’t know.

Lash takes a short run up and, totally ignoring the barbed wire, launches into Cherry with a hurricanrana which sends her crashing loudly into the barricade wall. The fans cheer for Lash as he groggily gets to his feet and then they laugh as he almost immediately topples back over, and then opts to root around underneath the ring. A few crashing sounds ring out as Lash discovers chairs and throws them over the top. Meanwhile, Cherry has stirred and crawled over to ringside herself. The camera pans back to Lash as he grins, locating a reel of barbed wire and rolling it out. Just as Lash finds a table and prepares to roll it out..

Spazz: Lash with that wicked ‘rana and now he’s pulling a table out.


*CRASH!*

Vance Isaac Parker: Oooohhhhhhhhhh mmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!


Cherry brings a steel chair down on the top of Lash's head with such force that it's no longer usable. Cherry shrugs, and the crowd starts to BOO as she sets Lash's throat up inside the lower rungs of the chair.

Spazz: The set up aaaaand...

*SMASH!*

Lash is lucky he managed to free himself and leave Cherry to mess her own ankle up as she stomps on the steel chair.

Spazz: Lash got outta’ there in the nick of time!

Vance Isaac Parker: Or was it in the ‘neck’, of time?

The distraction allows Lash to ram Cherry's head into the ring post before rolling her back inside. The fans cheer as Lash rolls a table into the ring and leans it in the corner before throwing caution to the wind, Lash leaps clean over the top rope from the apron and lands a guillotine legdrop! The fans eat it up as he rolls on top of Cherry and starts to pummel her face with the loaded fists, bloodying it extensively, yet Cherry soon reverses it and makes Lash's crimson mask even worse by working the nose. Cherry hauls Lash to his feet, looking for an irish whip into the corner, yet Lash stands his ground and reverses. Miraculously, the table in the corner doesn't break as Cherry crashes into it. But as Lash gives the signal for the cannonball senton and Cherry senses it and uses a modified arm drag to "help" the collision, the table certainly breaks! Caught on the barbed wire and stuck among broken table debris, Lash's tree of woe predicament is pretty dire right now. The crowd voices their displeasure as Cherry gets to her feet and starts laying into Lash with punches and kicks, further bloodying his body. Cherry lets out a roar as she drags Lash out of the corner and goes for the cover.

Spazz: Lash on top and bangin’ hard and fast on Cherry!

Vance Isaac Parker: That’s what she said.

Spazz: Didn’t last long as we got a Cherry on top! Whip to the corner reversed, but that table don’t break!

Vance Isaac Parker: If we got a Cherry on top, does that make Lash a confirmed bottom?

Spazz: Lash on the comeback with a cannonball! DODGED FUCKERS! Lash is upside down and Cherry’s just beating away at him! Pull out and Pin!!


ONE
TWO
TH~

Spazz: And kicked the fuck outta’ here!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: Obligatory reminder that this is over a golden pine cone. Yes folks, you heard that right.

A heavily bloodied arm gets up off the canvas and Lash is still in this! Cherry looks furious as she looks around the arena, but she cheers up as she looks to the timekeeper and gives a nod. Suddenly, attention is drawn to the bucket suspended above the ring, and Cherry offers a morbid chuckle as it upturns and hundreds upon hundreds of thumb tacks spill out onto the canvas around Lash and Cherry. Adams gives a nod of approval as she pulls off a length of chain which she had around her waist.

Crowd: Oooooooooo!

Vance Isaac Parker: I feel like I should have noticed that earlier, seriously how do you NOT notice a totally-not-conspicuous bucket hanging above the ring?

Spazz: I’d say the whole night. You’re only just noticing that? I been wondering when it was gonna’ tip this whole time!

Cherry grins as she wraps the chain around Lash's throat and proceeds to try to choke him out. Cherry’s grin grows even more evil as she tries to drag Lash up by his throat, but the crowd cheers as Lash responds with a barrage of elbows. As Lash breaks free, he snares a length of the chain and runs around Cherry. The fans love it as he drags her into a chain assisted arm trap neckbreaker right on the tacks! As Cherry writhes in pain, Lash crawls over and hooks the leg.

Spazz: Chain assisted choke by Cherry but Lash coming back with them sick elbows and breaks free! NICE! CHAIN ASSISTED ARM TRAP NECKBREAKER!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: C’mon Lash, this is literally your wheelhouse, you got this buddy!

Spazz: Lash with the cover up in here!

ONE
TWO
THR~

Spazz: Say what you will about Cherry, she’s as hot as she is tough as Wolverine’s claws dog! SNIKT! SNIKT! You know who I’m talkin’ about bub!

The crowd are on their feet permanently as Cherry kicks out at the last second. Bloodied, exhausted, and covered in tacks, Lash gasps for air as he sits up and looks around. Then he nods to himself. Lash gets up gingerly and locates the three chairs that he found earlier, the crowd excitement building as he constructs some kind of crude launch pad out of them before taking a brief run up...

Spazz: Lash makin’ plans up in this biznass!

Vance Isaac Parker: no, no, no, no, no, no, noooo……..

Spazz: TWISTING SHOOTING STAR PRESS BY DONOHUE OFF THE CH..NO WAY!

Cherry times it perfectly, rolling into position and catching Lash with a devastating Michinoku driver ON the chairs as tacks and blood fly everywhere. Cherry falls down into the cover, exhausted.

Spazz: Cherry with a Pop up and a SLICK Michinoku Driver RIGHT BACK ON THOSE CHAIRS!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: Ballgame! ...Please say that’s ballgame.

ONE
TWO
THREE!!


DING DING DING!!!

Jacquie Lacroix: The winner of this taipei deathmatch is… Cherry Adams!!!

Spazz: Cherry Addams has her pine cone back at long last and look at her just hugging that thing to herself like it was a newborn baby. That’s what a man wants in life, to be looked at like Cherry’s lovingly gazing at that shot up, burned, and damn near destroyed pine cone!

Vance Isaac Parker: What is….never again.

Spazz: THIS IS PRO WRESTLING, MOFUGGA!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: And this is the best movie of the past two decades, when this hit theaters people remember where they were and what they were doing for this piece of American Pop Culture! Folks, around here at EPIC we have a saying, and it goes something like this; ‘you can’t be great if you don’t put in the work’. Folks, this is Space Jam 2: A New Legacy. Check it now!

Cameras come back to the announcers in the booth through the window on the stage set.

Vance Isaac Parker: Earlier in the night, Griffin Hawkins made a promise that he would come and get Driller… and by the looks of things, it looks like he lived up to his word!

Spazz: Good on him! Kick some ass dog. I ain’t stoppin’ it!

Vance Isaac Parker: Waitaminute, we’re getting a live report of some kind of commotion happening in the back!

Spazz: We go to the back as Griffin and Driller are STILL brawling, trading punches with one another! Officials are trying to break it up.

Vance Isaac Parker: How long has this been going? Their faces are gonna look like ground beef when they’re done with each other!

Spazz: Vipster Hipster, this isn't a match… this is a straight-up brawl between two guys who absolutely hate each other’s guts!

Unsanctioned Backstage Brawl
Griffin Hawkins
versus
Driller Jaworski

Vance Isaac Parker: Do you REALLY think these officials are gonna get in between these two? Maybe we should get a crew with a...higher jurisdiction down here, if you catch my drift.

Spazz: If they call the cops, I hope THEY get arrested! This is gonna’ be awesome!

The two are hitting each other hard with haymakers, but Driller, who has the size and strength advantage, grabs Griffin by the midsection and drives him forward through a table full of refreshments, breaking it. Then, he begins raining punches down on Hawkins before picking him up.

Spazz: Ow fuck, that’s a shot and a half!

Driller Jaworski: Get up, you little bitch!

Vance Isaac Parker: Jaworski could do anything he wants to right here...

He pulls him toward what looks to be the break room area of the arena, tossing him down. He goes to pick him up, but Griffin rises slowly and hits him in the midsection with a quick punch, stopping him. He goes to pick him up again but is met with another punch. He grabs Driller by his head and rams him face-first into a nearby table, sending him staggering forward.

Griffin Hawkins: Come on you motherfucker! Come on!

Spazz: You REALLY wanna’ bait this guy, Griff?

A referee tries to pull Griffin away. He simply meets him with a hard right hand, sending him down. Driller uses this distraction to recover as he throws a chair right in Griffin's face! He then grabs a prone Griffin by the throat and slams him against the wall, choking him with his hands. Griffin is struggling to get free and does the only thing he can think of which is raking the eyes of Driller, causing him to lose his grip as he is temporarily blinded. He staggers into the hall as Griffin goes after him, continuing to punch him as they make their way down the corridor. Driller blocks a punch by Griffin and gives him one of his own. He continues the punishment as they make their way to what looks to be the men's room!

Spazz: Taking the browns to the superbowl up in here!

Vance Isaac Parker: …………………..

Spazz: Code Brown, Vance!

Vance Isaac Parker: We’re not doing this.

Spazz: THEY’RE GOING TO THE SHIT HOUSE!!!!

Many are scattering out of the bathroom as these two are trading heavy blows. Driller knees Griffin in the midsection and throws him into the stall. Driller grabs Griffin by the hair and dunks him into the toilet! He tries drowning him until Griffin takes the handle and flushes, then uses his other arm to low blow Driller!

Spazz: SWIRLY! He better be happy there wasn’t a floater waiting!

Vance Isaac Parker: We really have gone full circle with toilet jokes... Literally.

Spazz: it’s kinda’ circlin’ down the drain’ yo!

Griffin grabs a nearby plunger, dunking it in the toilet and then placing it over Driller's face, pressing him against the wall!

Spazz: NICE! EAT GREASY PLUNGER FOOOO!!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: Please be new, please be new, please be new………...

Driller breaks free by hitting Griffin in the midsection and then throwing Griffin hard into the wall of the stall. Driller gets a full head of steam and charges into Hawkins who quickly gets out of the way as Driller goes head first into the stall, leaving a dent. Driller looks to be busted open at the top of the head from the impact as Griffin starts pounding on him as a few more referees go and pull him off, dragging him out of the bathroom. Driller is up, with a look of rage in his eye he storms out of the bathroom. He charges right at Hawkins and not only knocks him down, but the referees as well!

Spazz: Strike! Mark 10 points on Driller’s bowling card!

He grabs Hawkins and lays another punch into him, sending him staggering forward. He stumbles into a door and opens it, which appears to be a certain someone's office. Driller grabs him and throws him in.

Joshua Samson: What the hell?!

Spazz: FUCK YEAH! BURN HIS OFFICE DOWN!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: This is Total Nonstop Anarchy!

He grabs Hawkins by the throat and presses him against the desk, choking him. Grabbing a nearby vase, he smashes it over Driller's head which knocks him down. Looking for a weapon of any kind, he sees a framed picture on the wall of Astrid Samson. He grabs it and smashes it over Driller's head, making a hole where his head is coming through the picture.

Griffin Hawkins: ...she never looked better.

Driller takes off the frame as the two continue to trade punches. More officials spill in.

Vance Isaac Parker: Griff is right, that picture does look like a marked improvement.

Spazz: Yeah, Josh’s bitch got a nice beard trim!

Joshua Samson: Get these two imbeciles out of my office!

They separate the two, pulling them out of the Office, but the brawl doesn't end! Driller grabs Griffin and throws him headfirst into a backstage cart. As he picks up Hawkins we can see now he is busted open on the side of the head as blood is pouring down. The officials are having trouble trying to break them up as Griffin rakes Driller's eyes and blinds him, sending him staggering into another room where we hear females screaming. Griffin stops and looks at the door.

Griffin Hawkins: .....oh come on....

He groans in annoyance as he sees the sign on the door reading "Women's Locker Room".

Griffin Hawkins: ...I hope my wife isn't watching.

He puts one hand over his eyes and blindly goes into the women's locker room. For obvious reasons, the camera man doesn't go in. But we can hear women telling both of them to get out. Soon the door is knocked off its hinges as both fall through. Driller gets up, but Griffin has a pink bra hanging off his head as he follows. He takes off the bra and wraps it around Driller's neck, choking him!

Spazz: CHOKE ON THAT BRA BITCH!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: That’s a weird sentence, but we’ve got no time to talk about your late night conquests, Spazz!

Driller is beginning to fade. Using all his strength he can, he drives Griffin forward as they both fall, knocking over a table full of tools. Both are beaten, bloodied, but manage to find a weapon. Driller picks up a Power Drill, while Griffin picks up what looks to be a Screwdriver. Driller motions to Hawkins as both get up.

Vance Isaac Parker: It’s a Screw Off!

Driller Jaworski: Come on...bring it!

Griffin holds the Screwdriver in a stabbing position.

Griffin Hawkins: You should've finished what you started Driller...

Before both could go at each other, security FINALLY rushes in and breaks it up. They are then followed by members of the 1WM roster rushing in to break it up. Ursula, Coda, Don Tirri and Molly Hatchet rush over to Griffin to keep him at bay while Kartel members Jack and The Headhunters hold back Driller. They keep them both at bay, the crowd is booing as a "Let them fight" chant breaks out in the arena. Both are shouting at each other from afar as they are being held back.

Griffin Hawkins: I'm still here Driller! I'm still here!

Driller Jaworski: You're a dead man Hawkins! You're fucking dead!

We head back to the arena where both announcers are shocked.

Vance Isaac Parker: Management is going to need to do something major about this. We can’t JUST have these kinds of outbursts happening on every show.

Spazz: Damn that was awesome! Should’ve let it keep going! Fuckin’ Security ruins everything!

Vance Isaac Parker: They keep our fans safe though...

Spazz: Yeah but wrestlers should be left to handle their own damn business. We’re the best damn self-police force in the world yo!

Vance Isaac Parker: Folks, if you liked Free Guy, the movie that looks like a video game, stick around. Because we’ve got a video game that’s actually a video game; Deathloop is a proud sponsor of One Dub, and you can check it out here!

The screen cuts to a room somewhere as we see none other than the "Real Rock'n'Rolla" himself, Jacob Striker, sitting on an orange couch dressed in a very finely cut black Armani suit with a very interesting tie and handkerchief combination that is almost like the spiraling of a nebula as he looks at the camera with a faintly amused expression.

Jacob Striker: Do you want to know what I find funny, ladies and gentlemen? That people like Jenni Drew and her "yes bitch", Kaede Tanabe, can't seem to grasp the simple reality that perhaps this is the one time in their respective careers that they need to take things just a shade more seriously. I find it very amusing actually that Kaede still believes that I am the same foolish rook that first joined New Frontier Wrestling because one of my former friends told me it would be a great idea to join… a perfect learning environment for someone like me.

Jake gives the camera perhaps the world's most "fakest of fake smiles."

Jacob Striker: See, I'm smiling… Can't you tell?

The "smile" then slowly drops from Jake's face as he leans forward just a little bit.

Spazz: We see, dog.

Jacob Striker: Now, that's not me putting down NFW in any shape, fashion, or form...I did learn a couple of things from that promotion, things that I've been applying to my very actions against you, Jenni. I've learned from one person in particular that used to work there that you have to be utterly ruthless and ignore anyone or thing that might make you be truly happy in your conquest for what you want.

Vance Isaac Parker: There’s a bit of a misnomer here, as giving up what makes you happy for something else that you think will make you happy, won’t actually satisfy you at the end of the day. You’d end up just punching a clock while mentally checking out.

Spazz: No disagreement here, Vinnie Parks. Gotta’ love what you do to do this work.

Jacob Striker: But Jenni, I want you to fully understand that at Legendary twenty...you and I will be on separate sides of the ring and while already you are planning to have a good sit down and fucking pout on the ring apron, that simply shows me that you are doing nothing more than shitting more on my industry and showing the ring even more disrespect. At Legendary, Jenni, you are going to get your fat ass up, and you will wrestle because otherwise, you will be leaving the lands of my forefathers in a pool of your own fucking blood because this company doesn't need a champion who thinks that she's above the company when the bookers pile shit on her.

Jake's face blossoms into a rather dark and twisted smile instead.

Jacob Striker: No, what this company deserves is a world champion who is more than ready to go out there and get his fucking hands dirty, and at Legendary, that's exactly what I'm going to do because I'm going to go out there and do what I do fucking best and that's fuck people up. And in your case, I'm going to give you the greatest example of what's going to happen when I finally decide to take my World Heavyweight title from your cold, lifeless fingers, Jenni. So, insult me to what you think is the "best" of your ability and get enough sleep...because when you get to Rome, Italy, Jenni, old girl, I want you to get ready to *SCREAM* for us all...and there is not a goddamned thing that you can do to stop me. Be seeing you soon, Jenni.

The video cuts off.

Spazz: Jacoboy deffo wantin’ to get that title any which way he can off the Jennster’s hands, but she’s faced and beaten some stiff ass competition.

Vance Isaac Parker: This guy isn’t playing around. He’s overcome a lot of stuff, and now his mind is set on one thing...and that spells disaster for our current champ. I hope she figures out a game plan.

Spazz: Again, that’s wrestling, defying odds and breaking preconceptions yo!

In her private locker room, Ursula Von Rossbach is already dressed for competition, slipping her hands into leather gloves. She adjusts them each, flexing her fingers. It is then that she drops low and proceeds to squat on the ball of one foot while stretching her entire leg out with the other foot resting on the opposing heel. She pivots on that heel, bending the leg inward and coming to a rest on that same ball while stretching the other leg out in a similar fashion. Impressively, she repeats this same feat, showing remarkable flexibility for her bulky frame. Even as there is a knock on her locker room door, she does not break from her routine, shifting now to kneeling lunges.

Ursula Von Rossbach: Enter.

Ursula rises from her stretching and awaits the arrival of someone for a few moments. Victoria Salinas enters the locker room, and she’s looking determined and confident, with no amount of nervousness going through her.

Victoria Salinas: It’s good to know I’m in the right place.

Victoria walks toward Ursula, her confidence not wavering a bit as she stops almost right in front of her.

Victoria Salinas: I wanted to come in here to say a few things. I do appreciate the respect you’ve shown leading up to this match tonight. It’s not often that an opponent of mine does so. I’m far too used to many of them of your caliber always trying to run me down for whatever reason. But, when it comes down to it? Even though I got my work cut out for me in a big way tonight, especially with the Pure Rules stipulation, I’m not afraid of you. I respect you a hell of a lot for the competitor that you are, and I may have a tall task ahead of me… but I’m not afraid. I’m giving it my best, just like I always have…

There is an approving nod from the Lady Terminator as she crosses her arms behind her back.

Ursula Von Rossbach: Fear is not required and, truthfully, not something I find worthwhile to pursue in my opponents. I would rather have a battle against a competitor than watch them cower before me. There is no sport in beating a frightened child, after all. Ms. Salinas, you are a decorated veteran and have earned your place at any table you desire. Any who think otherwise are either incompetent fools or arrogant braggarts who cannot see beyond the scope of their own ego.

She inclines her head forward slightly towards Victoria, meeting her gaze.

Ursula Von Rossbach: The task ahead of you is quite tall, but if you can manage a victory, you will reaffirm who exactly you are to those who doubt you. At the same measure, however, even if you were to fall against me, what shame is there in losing to a powerful opponent? I predict you will give me a worthy fight regardless of the outcome. I expect nothing less but excellence.

Victoria Salinas: And I would expect nothing less from you as well. I admit, that fear was there, albeit, slightly. I found out the competition I was going to be against, and I had this quiet critic come out of the shadows saying I’m going to be ‘exposed’ and this other critic coming out of the closet predicting I’m going to flop and all these stupid things. You’re not wrong, losing to you? No shame in that. But I’ve always been someone that’s pushed incredibly hard. I’m not someone that accepts failure as an option. I don’t like to lose. Nobody does. I’m the first to admit that I’m hard on myself when things don’t go the way I want them to. I feel as though for me, there is so much on the line and that’s why I am bringing my best and then some.

There is a momentary pause by Ursula, reflecting on what Victoria has said. Echos of the past dance in her ears, remembrances of a time less favorable to herself.

Ursula Von Rossbach: Ah, how others are so quick to judge based upon wishful thinking. Most who say you shall fail are often insecure and jealous of either what you are or the potential of what you could be. I remember how many critics claimed I would never amount to anything as a professional wrestler, that I am all show and bloated on chemical enhancements. It is hurtful rhetoric that can be quite damaging for one’s personal esteem.

A small smile is offered upon her thin lips.

Ursula Von Rossbach: However, unlike the majority of my time as a professional wrestler, you have far more accolades to show for it. They may say it does not matter and that who you were before coming to a specific company is unimportant, but the truth of the matter is that these things have happened. They can say what they will, but your accomplishments will always be yours. Let them be petty and spiteful. Learn to revel in their hatred and contempt and know thyself and what is true.

She then leans toward Victoria, edging slightly into her personal space.

Ursula Von Rossbach: The secret to success is to never register on any level that they have scored a hit upon you. Do not give those who foster your downfall the slightest recognition, for their opinion of you is not as important as the facts.

Victoria Salinas: Gosh, that would’ve been nice to hear a year or two ago when my career was going through the hardest valley it’s ever been in. But even then, I managed to pull myself out of it. Most wrestlers? They would’ve quit in that same situation. But I didn’t. The FACT is that I’ve always been a fighter that has pulled through the hardest times to get stronger and better every step of the way and those doubters? They’ve never been able to take that away from me. One way or another that’s a truth that’s going to come out of me. I’m fighting to win this match, but best of luck to you nevertheless. That respect is going to be there regardless.

A small smile is given in response by Ursula. Was it one of pleasure or of a less than forthcoming nature. Such is the way of the Lady Terminator’s unnerving smile. One could never tell if it was the wolf baring her teeth or mere contentment.

Ursula Von Rossbach: Excellent. I shall see you in the ring then, Ms. Salinas. Thank you for visiting.

Victoria Salinas: Good luck to you out there. I do mean that.

Victoria takes a deep but confident breath before she turns around and makes her exit. With a nod, Ursula resumes her pre-match routines, preparing for the encounter to come all too soon.

Vance Isaac Parker: You love to see the mutual admiration between competitors. Proof positive that not everything we do has to be based around seething blood curdling vitriol.

Spazz: Being cool with each other’s great but I gotta’ say that lacking confidence can kill you in wrestling and the fucked up part? It’s so easy to break someone’s confidence. That’s a woman that’s had shit shoveled in her face for years yo. It has an impact. Will she overcome it or will she get buried in that shit?

Vance Isaac Parker: Folks, stick with us through our final commercial break, this time check out the new HEELS on STARZ! August fifteenth, that’s only a few days away. Professional wrestling isn’t always the glamorous life you see on the television, and if you’ve ever been curious to the paths we all take that lead us down here, this movie is just the one to catch. Take a look.

Spazz: AND WE ARE BACK!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: And now, it’s the match we’ve all been waiting for. It’s the match both competitors need to win, and neither can afford to lose. For pride. For sport. For competition. It’s Ursula Von Rossbach versus Victoria Salinas, and it’s the first time ever...and it’s NOW!

Main Event
Pure Wrestling Rules Singles Match
Victoria Salinas
versus
Ursula Von Rossbach

DING DING DING!!!

Ye’ old bell rings at the motioning of Referee Hawkins. Ursula rolls her shoulders, staring back at a visibly nervous yet determined Victoria. Ursula holds her fist out and Victoria reaches out, tapping knuckles. Just as the two are about to lock up, Griffin’s cell phone goes off and his eyes go wide. Both women look at him as he pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and frantically fumbles to try and turn it off, until suddenly Ursula slaps it from his hand and sends it bouncing out of the ring. He just grins sheepishly.

Spazz: Griff you moron!

Vance Isaac Parker: Dang it Griffin. You do that again, and I’m gonna start calling you Peter...

The two lock up, but Victoria does not maintain it long, showing off her fleet-feet by slipping around and pulling Ursula’s arm into a hammerlock. Ursula maneuvers herself out of the hammerlock, slipping around Victoria to place her in the same predicament! A pair of back elbow strikes catches her in the face allowing Victoria to slip free and hit the nearby ropes, coming off with a springboard dropkick, rocking the Lady Terminator back a step!

Spazz: Hold for hold and Vicky Sals scores with a dropkick!

Vance Isaac Parker: You say this like you’re surprised. I’ve teamed with her, I know just how good she is!

She hits a few hard chops on Ursula, followed by ducking a return chop with a spin and a kick to the side of the knee. Victoria follows up with a standing dropkick, which Ursula cooly side-steps and shoves her foe one-handed to the canvas! Vicky pops right back up only to narrowly duck a roundhouse kick, but Ursula is quicker than she anticipates, a second front kick following up with the opposing leg to catch her in the chest and rock her right off her feet!

Spazz: Chop exchange and another dropkick, but Ursula side steps and just pancakes her ass! Vicky on her feet, ducking a roundhouse but oooooo… nasty front kick!

Vance Isaac Parker: Usually those billed off of power are typically thought of as being slower, but Ursula shows us that’s not always the case with that second fast kick.

Ursula grips Victoria by the back of her neck, hoisting her to her feet and hurling her into a corner. She then hits a running avalanche with great impact. Stepping back, Victoria stumbles forward into a powerful lariat and pin. ONE!!! TWO!!! KICKOUT!

Spazz: LARIATO AND A PIN! But only a deuce!

Vance Isaac Parker: Dude, not here, go to the bathroom for that. Don’t worry, I’ll cover you while nature’s calling you.

Spazz: That’s a two count in Mexico!

The look on Ursula’s face said it all, she expected the kick out. Pulling Victoria up by the arm, she hits a SAMBO SIDEKICK to the ribs, sending Victoria flailing into the ropes. No rest for the wicked as the Lady Terminator hooks an arm around her throat, hoisting her up into a tight rear chokehold. Victoria struggles against the power of the arm around her throat, fighting to tuck her chin, kicking her legs wildly. A poorly leveraged heel to the knee does nothing to stop Ursula’s strangulation, but a back headbutt to the nose hits hard enough for her to loosen her grip and dip forward. Victoria props both feet on Ursula’s now bent knees, grips those arms, and flips in a way that takes her head out of the choke and drives her knees right into the top of Ursula’s head in an impressive backflip!

Spazz: INNOVATIVE AS FUCK! Vicky somehow backflipped out of a choke and nailed Ursula right in the head with those knees!

Vance Isaac Parker: What a move!

Ursula drops to her knees as Victoria forward rolls and runs for the ropes. She hits them hard, rebounds, and nails THE BUSAIKU KNEE KICK!!!

Spazz: Vicky in the ropes, rebound and BUSAIKU KNEE KICK!

Vance Isaac Parker: The sheer impact could be felt up into the cheap seats!

Ursula is rocked flat on her back, opening her up for a quick pin! ONE!!! TWO!!!! T-KICKOUT!!! Ursula HURLS Victoria off of her, sitting up and promptly getting to her feet.

Spazz: Victoria with the pin and two count!

Vance Isaac Parker: Power out with authority!


Victoria gets to her feet only to be met with a wicked chop to the chest that knocks her right back down! She pops up only to eat another, even stronger chop. She clutches at her chest, exposed skin blistered from the shot. Ursula gathers Victoria up and tosses her into the corner, running right behind her. She hits and is avalanched yet again, only this time scooped up and Gorilla press thrown right into the top turnbuckle! She bounces off of it, rolling down onto the canvas with a jarring impact, clutching her guts and kicking her legs in agony.

Spazz: Gorilla Press throw into the turnbuckles and The Griffster is reffin’ it up with a warning. Spirit of Scientific Wrestling and all that jazz.

Vance Isaac Parker: An object in motion will remain in motion until acted upon by an outside force. Ursula was that outside force, and look at Victoria now.

Spazz: Yous got a point there. Because SCIENCE BITCH!

Referee Hawkins issues a warning to Ursula and gets a nod for his troubles. She then gathers up Victoria only to be caught with a sitdown jawbreaker! As Ursula stumbles back, Victoria takes her arm and manages to flip her to the mat with a Cross Armbar!

Spazz: Victoria with a jawbreaker and cross armbar brings Ursula down to the mat!

The struggle is brief as Ursula counters by rolling over Victoria and lifting her as she has many times to anyone who has attempted armbars to her, but there is one difference, as Victoria locks the legs around Ursula’s arm tighter, releases, and then grips her hair and hits a hard right hand, followed by another! This actually causes Ursula to drop her back down to the canvas!

Griffin: WOAH WOAH WOAH! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!! THAT’LL COST A ROPE BREAK!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: A desperate escape, but here’s hoping the cost was worth it.

Spazz: She’s got two more rope break points to spend!

Referee Griff issues both a warning and takes away one of Victoria’s rope breaks! Victoria curses and rolls to her feet. Ursula is on her with a knee and a hard right punch of her own to even the score, driving Victoria to the canvas! They were now 2 and 2 with rope breaks.

Griffin: URSULA! YOU KNOW BETTER! THAT’LL COST YOU!

Spazz: 2 and 2! If either runs out of rope breaks, they’ll be DQ’ed if they go for another illegal strike to the head or move!

Vance Isaac Parker: Everyone has a plan ‘till they get punched in the mouth...

Ursula works over Victoria with several hard body blows in the corner, breaking them up with a chop or two to the face, driving her straight to a seat in the corner, where she proceeds to batter her with knee blows.

Vance Isaac Parker: We just saw a closed fist shot get admonished. Now Griffin isn’t calling her on it?

Spazz: Pure rules match. You can punch the body but not the head. Only open hand strikes are allowed to the head.

Vance Isaac Parker: You sure? I don’t think that’s correct. I’m going to need to consult my wrestling rulebook after this show……….

Ursula hoists Victoria onto the ropes and grips her throat, She then lifts her off only for Victoria to counter in mid air by locking her legs around the arm and whipping Ursula to the Canvas with another cross armbar!

Spazz: Chokesla-NO CROSS ARMBAR AGAIN!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: A clutch counter, if she can take the arm out of commission, that’s half of Ursula’s offense right there.

For several seconds she struggles before rolling over Victoria once again, clasping her hands together tight. This time she stands straight, keeping just out of Victoria’s reach before lifting her up and slamming her not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES to make her let go of the hold! The Lady Terminator staggers back, wringing her arm out in a clear indication that this time, damage was done!

Spazz: Yeah I didn’t think so! Ursula just bombed her ass three times for that Armbar!

Vance Isaac Parker: You had to expect the single hold wouldn’t have put her out on it’s own, but how much damage has it caused in the interim?

Spazz: Yous got a point. Most don’t hold on that long or get that much damage in on Ursula with Arm Bars.

Victoria is on her feet, hitting the ropes and springboarding off with a dropkick right in that very same arm! Ursula growls as she drops to one knee, more out of annoyance as she knows the damage being done. A second standing dropkick rocks her flat on her back! This is promptly followed by a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT PIN!!

Spazz: Springboard Dropkick hits that arm, followed by a standing dropkick! Ursula’s flat-backed and SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT PIN!!

ONE!!! TWO!!! TTTHHHHRRE-THROWN OFF!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: I’d have bought that as the three, what more does Victoria need to do to eek out this win?

Spazz: That’s a question everyone asks!

Ursula sits up, cradling her arm a bit but otherwise looking none the worse for wear! The two are on their feet and Victoria once again goes back to the legs with kicks, only for Ursula to answer! Spinning around she rocks her off her feet with THE BIONIC HEADBUTT! She gathers Victoria up and hits THE GREAT SLAM, holding the leg for the pin!

ONE!!! TWO!!!! TTTTTHHHHHRRRRRRRE-KICKOUT!!!

Spazz: DAAAAAAAMMMN! Victoria took the Bionic Headbutt and the Great Slam but still managed to kick out!

Vance Isaac Parker: Someone check on Victoria. She’s still breathing, yes?

The Lady Terminator shakes her head and gatherers Victoria up once more. She locks on that rear double chicken wing and hoists Victoria up for THE VON TERMINAT-REVERSED!!! Victoria manages to slip free, dive forward, and fling Ursula into a Victory Roll up!

Spazz: VON TERMINATOR IT’S AAAALLL OV-NO!!! REVERSAL INTO A VICTORY ROLL UP!

ONE!!! TWO!!! TTTTHHHHHHHHRRRRE-EXPLOSIVE KICKOUT!!!

Spazz: Ursula’s going to have to make adjustments to that finishing move. People are figuring this shit out!

Ursula powers out of the reversal, sending Victoria rolling away from her while she kips to her feet! Spinning around, she fires back at Victoria with THE GREAT KICK but MISSES!!! Victoria clips Ursula’s balancing leg, dropping her to one knee, takes the arm and locks on the UNBREAKABLE VICTORY!!!

Spazz: URSULA IS LOCKED UP IN THE UNBREAKABLE VICTORY!!!

Vance Isaac Parker: The positioning, the torque, oh my gosh could it be?

She growls in irritation, feeling only a mild pinch of pain which means so much more. She could power out, but it would risk injuring her arm, and that was not a risk worth taking. Begrudgingly, she taps out!

Vance Isaac Parker: It IS!

Spazz: I DON’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Victoria falls off of the Lady Terminator beyond exhausted and feeling every ounce of damage this match has inflicted upon her.

Jacquie Lacroix: The winner of this match… by submission… Victoria Salinas!!!

Ursula rises, clutching her injured arm in close, then assists Victoria to her feet. Then, taking her wrist, she raises the exhausted competitor’s arm into the air to the cheers of the crowd. Referee Hawkins takes Victoria’s other arm and raises it up, a huge smile on his face.

Vance Isaac Parker: From bell-to-bell, the respect in pure competition was unmatched, you love to see it.

Spazz: Victoria Salinas managed a hell of a thing here tonight and we can only see her stock rising going forward.

Vance Isaac Parker: If only all shows had a fairytale ending, but we gotta hook you in for the next show somehow, right? On this night however, we cap off a brilliant night with Victoria Salinas standing tall and her arm raised in victory over a very tough encounter. What a moment.

Spazz: SNOOTCH TO THE BOOTCH!!!!